The Artwork Of Feelings – Mad Chaos: June 18, 1998

A Nocturnal Pattern Of Diary Entries

Looking back upon my scriptures, I’ve noticed that there haven’t been many days (none in this month) where I have written in my Diary during the day, anytime from 6am to midday.  To reason with that, I don’t even wake up until midday.  When I do, I have to account for eating and having a shower in order to wake up properly.  I believe the last time I ever wrote in my Diary during the day was when I was back at work.

Work, do I miss it?  The answer is no.  You can’t really miss something you weren’t into.  Having a typist or accounts job just wasn’t interesting.  What I want to do is something like a Macintosh Artist or a Producer of Music, a real reason to wake up early in the mornings.  

The Importance Of Sunshine

What else I’ve been thinking, the reason I wake up so late in the day and feel so groggy has to do with the position of my room.

Back in the day when I used to occupy the room upstairs with a view of the backyard, I woke up early every day.  The reason, the sun was hitting me directly every morning.  With that, I woke up feeling great.  What’s more, if I sneezed once or twice early mornings I felt more fabulous.  However, back in those days I was only traveling to school and dreaded waking up early.  Therefore, most days I would just close the curtains, but the sun was still strong enough to wake me.  What I need to get myself up in the mornings is for the sun to shine through my window.

Bank Error In Lyssa’s Favor

So far, the day has been good.  There were no plans for today, just wake up and maybe head for Campbelltown.  Lyssa called me very early in the morning just after reaching work.  Calling me at 9:15am she told me that the money she had received on Tuesday and had taken out was a result of when Lyssa accidentally mailed the pay slips.  By coincidence, they were cashed into her account.  So the money she took out on Friday was being taken back.  She had already spent $70 of it on makeup and other things when her and Penelope went shopping yesterday.  

Lyssa was also paid again yesterday.  That’s why she thought it was alright to spend the money.  Luckily, she spent only what she did because if it was any more, we would not have been able to go this weekend to the Novotel.

Angry on the phone, I listened to Lyssa’s story and advised Lyssa to ask her boss if the money could be debited next week.  Lyssa couldn’t do that because the bank was asking for the money, so we were in trouble.  Having $125 on her, that was just enough for this weekend, as long as Lyssa gave it to me for safekeeping.  Lyssa and I didn’t talk for long because I was still sleepy and upset.

Warming A Cold Waterbed

Back to sleep I was.  Then Lyssa called me back at 11:30am where I was still half-asleep.  Lyssa told me she put the money back in the bank.  More positive with my feelings, I understood that Lyssa had done what she had to do.  Lyssa let me go back to sleep after a couple of minutes of talking.  

There I was trying to get back to sleep, but my bed was slightly cold.  Whenever Lyssa sleeps over my house and we use the blankets from my waterbed on the floor, the waterbed cools down.  When the blankets are thrown back on, it takes over a day to get back to normal.

Shelving Recording Studio Project

This month was supposed to see a pick up in me finishing off the instrumental, but due to ‘Nu Town Studios’ being pricks and giving me the run around with a Guitarist, I’ve chosen to postpone my recording progress and concentrate solely on the CD.  Really, they are selfish.  Now I wish I hadn’t spent $200 in their studios.  They clearly win this round but when I don’t show up to record they will be losing out on their money.

Small Exercise Gains

Just to mention my workout duties briefly in this passage.  Sit-ups were on the agenda last night as I done around 30 sit-ups.  The night before that I had done 50 sit-ups with weight included, so I’m making a slow but steady rise in my fitness.  When I set out to achieve something, there is always progress.

The Zola Birthday Coincidence

Getting to a point of conversation I was having with Jewell last night.  I’m not going to elaborate too much on my feelings just yet about our topics last night, but what strikes me is how Zola is having her 19^th birthday on the 21^st of this month.  That means when I was at Wollongong last year with Lyssa and gave her a kiss for the first time, Zola was celebrating and I was probably invited.  There must have been a party that I didn’t attend.  It spins me out that I was making advancements on her birthday.

Preparing Dedications CD Artwork

Now back to my normal day… I woke up at 12:30pm and immediately walked outside.  Seeing mum working on the gardening I sneezed twice in the blissful sun and then asked mum to make me some sandwiches.  

When that was done I turned the computer on and done some touches on the artwork that I was getting printed today.  What I wanted to do was see how the CD artwork would come out on a normal printer, the one in the library.  Inserting these pictures into Microsoft Word (most likely at a smaller DPI), I would then begin to print them.  Because the CD booklet folds out to 48.4 cm in length, I had to think of printing two halves of it.

Lyssa called me while I was touching up on my work.  Calling me at 1pm Lyssa told me that she was feeling sick and woozy at work and needed to go home.  Lyssa was leaving work and wanted me to meet her at Leumeah in an hour.  Not hesitating, I finished up my work on the computer.  Then putting some clothes on I walked out the door.

Queen Street Extended To The Mall

Queen Street is now in progress of building a road through where the Mall walkway is.  That is supposed to stop the drug trafficking that occurs in that area.  It already has.  Nevertheless, I walked to Campbelltown station with disks in my pocket and caught the train to Leumeah.  Thinking I would be late, I was cheering when I noticed Lyssa hadn’t arrived yet.  The next train was Lyssa.  Expecting her to be on the nearest carriages, I was surprised to find her near the end carriage.

Lyssa Returns Home Sick 

Giving Lyssa a kiss, I could see she was a bit light-headed, so I grabbed her hand as we walked down the stairs.  Lyssa didn’t have enough money to catch a bus, so we walked instead, which neither of us complained about.  Lyssa then told me her story regarding work and the money situation.  Tiring up the big hill towards Lyssa’s house, she was about to cry, but I encouraged her.  We made it, tethered to each other.

Lyssa Asks For My Money

Grabbing something to eat Lyssa asked if I could take money out of my Credit Card so she could visit Chevy’s this weekend.  Thinking she was a bit selfish, I was vigilant giving my money to Lyssa.  Annoyed with my intent of being stingy, Lyssa paraded around me to try and change my mind, but I didn’t budge.  

Here is someone who spends $70 on nothing, loses money, and then thinks it’s alright to use my Credit Card as a back up source for her wealth.  

Since I’ve told Lyssa that there is more money in my Credit Card (money I shouldn’t really touch) Lyssa has shown more interest in it.

Ultimately, caving in to Lyssa’s relentless pleading, I gave her money.  That means tomorrow I will have to travel to Campbelltown, take out money for the weekend from my Credit Card to cover the deficit and then return $30 into the bank (which I will probably use to buy a CD and then return extra when my pay arrives).

More Than A Massage 

While watching television I asked Lyssa to massage me but not on any normal body parts.  As fun as that was, I felt it would be more pleasing to further the stimulation.  Running it through with Lyssa, I ran to the bathroom to clean myself and then ran into Lyssa’s bedroom.  

The time being 5:30pm, Lyssa was expecting her mum home within half an hour.  Placing pressure on me to perform, I thought it was quite fun and I didn’t disappoint.  The only problem, Lyssa got a taste and ran to the bathroom to wash her mouth.  I guess she doesn’t like it that much (when she can taste).

Lyssa’s mum arrived home at 6:15pm and she got ready.  Lyssa and her mum had plans to visit the doctor together to find out what was wrong with Lyssa.  Jumping in the car also, I gave Lyssa a kiss.  As we were jumping out of the car and as she walked into the doctor’s office I said goodbye.

Printing Out CD Artwork

Enigmatic was the feel of the night as I strolled to the library.  Because it was late night shopping tonight (and thinking Jewell was at Liverpool on a shopping splurge, probably checking out the male count down there too), most of the things were open including the library.  

Booking a library computer, I walked in there and began work straight away.  Knowing exactly what I was set out to do, I printed the artwork expecting a bad job from the printer.  Viewing my first blueprint, I noticed it had great detail and it wasn’t all that bad.  In fact, it was great.  Wondering what it would look like when I had it printed with 5,000 DPI, I was delighted.  

Finishing up my printing, I dried out the pages and headed back out into the winter chill that we now know in June to be around zero degrees.  From Campbelltown, it was a long and arduous trip back home, a trip of anticipation.

Reviewing My Dedications CD Artwork

Back home I lay the pictures on the ground and viewed them properly for the first time.  In particular I like the ‘Present’ and the ‘Future’ artwork.  They look magnificent like all the other artwork.  

Placing it all in a clear CD cover, I noticed it wasn’t very color coordinated but there were some very professional portions in the artwork.  

The CD is altogether now.  I have an idea to work with so I can improve the CD.  Still, I have to get the actual CD printed with Grayscale.  That should be interesting and it will be done in two weeks time.

Ali Shares His Racing Stories

Calling Ali while I was at home we talked about what we had done for the week.  He told me of how he bought a professional camera (which is hot property) for $80.  

While talking, he mentioned how on Friday night when I was with Lyssa him and Imad drove to the City and taped their ordeal.  Ali told me how they raced a black Celica 76 model and it went great.  He also noted that in the quarter mile, Ali would beat the car but with twin webbers or del-autos, the black Celica would beat Ali top end.  

Ali had to hand in his form to Centrelink tomorrow so I opted to do it for him.  Ali was on his way over to my house to drop off the form.  I asked him to also drop off the movie so I could view it.

Watch Ali’s Home Video

Hearing the engine vibrate up the street, I walked outside into the winter cold and invited him in for a couple of seconds.  Ali had to pick up Penelope soon but he told me that the guy with the black Celica exchanged numbers and had called Ali tonight.  Thinking it would be a good idea to call him down on the weekend, I thought it would be great to take pictures of the three Celica’s together so I could muck around with them on computer.  Ali left.

Ringing Lyssa first, the phone was on Easy Call.  I gathered Kuper was on the phone.  Starting the home movie I established the first half an hour was of Ali trying to work out how to use it, not really that interesting.  When Imad finally came over I got to see the real deal but there wasn’t much of it.  To top that off, the camera wasn’t held that still.  The only action was when Ali was up against the black Celica but that was also jumpy.

Lyssa Receives A Diagnosis

Lyssa called me while I was watching the movie and told me about her visit to the doctor.  The doctor assumes it could be three possibilities.  

One, Lyssa has a case common flu, which I think is spelt glandular fever.  Rory had a bite of it in his day.  

Two, the pill could be the cause of Lyssa’s problems but the doctor insists she stay on it so she doesn’t get pregnant.  Now Lyssa’s mum definitely knows we are sexual.  Good to know.  

The third possibility that the doctor came up with was that Lyssa has a wrong diet.  Asking Lyssa if she had foods in the morning that were full of sugar, Lyssa said yes.  The doctor then presumed that eating only sugar in the morning meant her metabolism would go haywire.  

I know perfectly well that if you eat simple carbohydrates like sugar, you will feel drowsy afterwards because your body is storing too much rapid energy.  In turn, you get drowsy.  Coupled with Lyssa being tired in the mornings, that spells trouble.  

Therefore, the doctor ordered Lyssa to start a new diet in eating complex carbohydrates in the mornings and before she sleeps.  No more sugar.  Lyssa had to leave after 20 minutes of talking because it was time for her to sleep.

After my movie I started writing this and in between I had a shower.  

Tonight just after writing this entry I’m going to do some more sit ups and then sleep so I can hand in my form tomorrow.  

Improve Dedications CD Production Quality

The CD is really looking good.  Even though I’m not cooking up the instrumental at Nu Town Studios on Tuesday, I’m still burning all other songs onto a CD and making radio edits of some of them.  A studio is not out of my horizons, as I still have to record vocals over the top of an instrumental of “Am I Dreaming” by “Ol Skool”.  Reciting the lines of my poem and dates of significance, it will spring into the radio version of the song.  

At the end of a song a change in progression occurs.  I want to record extra vocals over the top of that. Will it be done?  I don’t know.  

What I do know, I need two male vocal voices and a female vocal voice for the end track.  Already, I have two male vocals that can also sing, but as far as the female vocal goes, I don’t have anyone yet.

Coming To Terms With Jewell’s Ultimatum

Thinking that I should elaborate on my conversation with Jewell last night, I can’t really think about that at the moment.  All I can say is that memories kept flicking through my head today.  The thought of both of us together still doesn’t escape my mind.  This might change how we perceive our phone calls to one another, but I can see that in time, Jewell will tire of our new relationship.  

All I can say is that from the first day of January, I will be ready.  If Jewell is still within me then, I will take the opportunity.

Reading back upon some of my old entries (especially when I wrote Jewell my first letter), I reminisced on her reactions towards me and thought how would they be now.  Thinking back to the day, Jewell was very timid but open at the same time.  If a door opened for her she would take the opportunity.  But god forbid, she didn’t fully understand what she was getting herself into sometimes and that led to our downfall.  

Jewell understands now but now is too late.  When the time comes, when the blood of the present is over, the Future will be much closer and evidently clear to me, whether Jewell and I will be united once again.