Getting Close To Scarlett
Sheer beauty and compassion attract me, and Scarlett has it all. She reminds me so much of me (in a whole) that it isn’t funny.
Women leave an impression on me by being compassionate through a relationship, which turns out to be a cute attribute when reflecting on past pictures.
Scarlett is kooky and I’m sure she thinks about the same thing with me.
But we’re made for each other, without the age difference.
Online Chat With Scarlett
Speaking to her online is like a split personality of mine.
Don’t get close. Getting close is the weakness to getting too personal. And once that happens, it triggers your emotions to linger.
Rap Practice
Imagine a style of rapping in practising your rap at a slower, more intelligent pace online over the net. Imagine the potential practice you could notch up and then, a new form of freestyle that new rappers could sprout from. Imagine this classic first attempt made it into some mix. Maybe it seems lame now, but it could be a later strength.
not one spelling mistake in the whole conversation
lol
all of a sudden u’r usin’ these’
more slangy… n tangy
my eve baby bangies
open your ears here come the hives
blues all i’m seein’
you’re the chorus gurl…
Imagine reflecting on the past and reliving our conversations.
The song “My Friends” by the Chilli Peppers fitted best with the mood tonight, the rapping style, the mirrored personage for me to dissect, and yous to understand, being me.
Unguarded With Scarlett
Scarlett seems to get more paranoid of me than her in conversation. My flaw is often the over-embracing, the letting down of my guard, and getting emotional.
Music is now my new passion boys and girls.
That’s why the life of the writer has to virtually be lived through these mindful conversations with Scarlett.
This desire to make my message heard vocally seems a tad desirous for attention, and so seems more vain, but if it betters the writer then why not instead of it.
Back into the hands of the mischievous we go now, into another confidence rebuilding phase now that Scarlett will gradually wean away from me. The mischievous, he’s a handful.
Losing A Part Of Yourself
When you are denied a certain part of your life you will feel wanting, insecure, depressed and lacking esteem.
When any sort of personal relationship with a woman ends, and with Scarlett now almost gone, it seems like some more weight is placed on the self-conscious again.
There was a week or two helping me out of the rut by finding solace in associates at work but once the intimacy of true friendship is gone again, it will be hard to fill back that gap.
Will the license ever come as the countermeasure comfort? Can it fill the hole, and give me material happiness over emotional, and intellectual? Is this the first step along with a job, back to the contradictory world of materiality, instead of with my root beliefs about living for the greens?
“Fuck the greens “ is my motto, “takes no grace to say how it is,” to continue the rap.
Insecure Work Tenures
Mark from work won’t be coming back. He was one of the first in our group that didn’t survive the latest sweep of monthly contracts. The rest of us passed the grade, me barely by riding on the back of my goggle-eyed boss, Brian.
One more month and it’ll be my time to bounce back down to the life of welfare or circulate into a life of independence (and away from the co-dependence) with this new set of wheels.
Determined To Win Small Battles
Just one more month and it’s the home straight. One more month to save enough money for registration and repairs, so that when D-Day comes a boy’s prepared for a more liberal life than one walking everywhere.
Maybe it would be time for a Melbournian escape like my mind has been planning for some weeks now. It would seem to go hand in hand almost with Scarlett heading out to Bundaberg, or even how she decided to drop a bomb on a nine-month anniversary.
A license to drive would be about the battle won for maintaining an equilibrium, and in the long term, may even benefit my need to break out into independence.
Women use me though, and even Scarlett shows this now.
The Substance Of Legends
Legends are those that reside outside the boundaries of human ability, people that were the initial creator, or thinker, like Albert Einstein for science and Snoop for the creation of G Funk.
Would there ever come a day when it wasn’t cool to be straight, and so, your principles over generations would lead us into a technological age of insemination.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
