car dealership showroom with premium cars panorama with blur

Learning To Stand On My Own Two Feet – Mad Chaos: June 24, 2001

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Purchasing The Bomb From A Car Yard

Today I nagged Shawn to come along to Liverpool.  He drove me, and helped me purchase a 1982 rusted blue Toyota Corona bomb from a used car yard in Liverpool.  The car had mechanical issues, but was cheap, and was registered for two months.  

Shawn advised patience and to look around, but I was fixated on realizing my ambition to drive, despite being unlicensed.  Impatience saw me buy my $450 first car, the bomb, the beleaguered beast. Shawn had to drive it away from the car yard.

Sacrifice My Morals To Buy A Car

Buying a car was another of these quick fixes for patching up my fight against marijuana, and ultimately, fullest mental absorption of the world around you.  

Impatience is my need to retort these degrading faults that my issues of illicit drugs and heightened awareness have created.  Impatience leads to my inability to relax for whose tension leads to the self-conscious.  

The car and job (in any remuneration) is my contrived reason (justification) for giving up my concrete ethical morals.  Buying a car with money that came from working back out amongst people (in other words, sacrificing the recluse) gave me something else in place of marijuana to do.  That something else boosted morale and kept hands busy at the same time.  So in doing, buying a car went against all my views.

Imad Visits To See The Car

The car that had an alternator problem which caused Imad and I to have a great Sunday night.  He came from the sticks in Kenthurst to Campbelltown to see the car.  

While at my house viewing the car, Imad taught me that you have to stand on your own two feet before you can stand next to someone else.  You have to strive and be proud, but not too proud so that you become vain.  

Pride is a humble dignity, and if you can learn that, you are more at one with yourself.

Then we drove over to his house in the sticks.  

Blue Rusted Toyota Corona
My 1982 Model Toyota Corona

Having An Argument With Imad

On the drive up to Kenthurst I had an argument with Imad.  Unlike the skips, it was easy to raise my voice at Imad simply because he knew not to get offended.  We argued about him trying to tell me how to drive when we were trying to make it to the fire tonight.  

Because the alternator was playing up, and because we had me behind the wheel, the car ended up stalling on every second set of traffic lights.  Eventually, we stalled in sight of the campfire where the boys (Shawn, Tatton and Tyler) were waiting for us.

The car stalled itself on the rightmost lane of traffic on the crossroads that would have taken us across the bridge en route to our right turn into the abandoned old railroad crossing section.  

Diagnosing Reasons For My Coughing

Anyway, the point here is that unlike the skips, the mischievous felt more comfortable being himself.  

The cough is not about smoking or dust mites, it’s all to do with being around friends and feeling comfortable.

The road to salvation always involved a reunion with my real friends.  The next on the cards (if the friendship hasn’t faltered) is the man that used to be my best friend, his spot never replaced, Ali.

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Diary entry for June 26, 2001. Kicking Marijuana Habit, Repair…