A Near-Death Experience
I am thinking unselfishly tonight because tonight was a near death experience for me.
Simon picked me up at 7:00 pm. I drove with him on Pizza Hut runs, and it was wet.
The windows were fogging up on Rudd Road in Leumeah. Simon was wiping a spot to look out the window, and he didn’t see the car turning into a side street.
If I didn’t warn him a split second earlier, we would have collected the car at 80km/h.
Whichever way, we would have been hospitalized – or dead.
Luckily I alerted Simon and pulled the wheel so that he would realize what was about to happen. I didn’t worry about it at first, shrugging off the idea that we would have died. But then I reacted and had a serious think about my ways, and my life.
Two days from my 18th birthday and I would have been spending it dead, or severely injured – which I probably wouldn’t be able to cope with.
That night I saved both Simon’s and my life and will realize the importance of that night for a very long time.
Phoenix Exhibits Mood Swings
I tried to ring Phoenix again and talked to her, but she was very angry at me for some reason, and wanted to know why I was calling. I told her to call me back, and we would talk about the problem. I began my trek home.
Phoenix called, as planned. Then we proceeded to talk, but the conversation on her side was very emotional.
She started crying for some reason. I couldn’t do anything about it. Once again I was helpless to help her out.
She kept telling me that she wanted me to forget her, and she did not want anything to do with me. I just wanted to know what led her to that reasoning.
I don’t know what it was when she first hung up. She just snapped, and that was it.
She kept telling me there was a problem that she couldn’t explain to me, and I would probably never know. That got me worried for her.
I just want to sort everything out. I don’t want it to stay this way. After all, she called me. I didn’t call her asking her to do all that on the phone.
Fuck, Phoenix is so hard to explain. Her moods are too violently switched all the time.
How To Go Forward With Phoenix
Now that I have had some time to think, I know that if I go after her it will be foolish of me because Jeremy will always be in the picture, and it will not be fair on Jeremy. He would get hurt equally, and I don’t want too many casualties.
If Phoenix rings me in the morning I will tell her that I favor her friendship very much and if I had the chance I would take it, but there can never be an “us” while there is Jeremy. So, it must be how fate puts it.
Talk To Tabitha
Phoenix didn’t call me again today but Tabitha is going to talk to her and get her to call me tomorrow. Maybe Jeremy was at her house, like she said he would be.
Tabitha and me had a very long talk after Phoenix hung up on me. She called me and I talked to both her sisters Nancy and the younger one.
Now my wisdom tooth is hurting. It is time to think some more.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
