The Love Triangle Conundrum – Mad Chaos: June 1, 1998

As the first day of the month is almost at an end, I have not much to say of the new month (because it hasn’t been here for long).  Let me start with my day.

This morning at 11am I was woken up by Lyssa who called me from work.  Lyssa realized I was just woken up from sleep, so after a couple of words she let me go.  That didn’t really matter as I jumped up anyway, gearing up for another month.  

The first I done was get myself something to eat, bringing it downstairs.  Then turning the computer on I started work on my graphic art.  There I lay on my fluffy carpet working away when Lyssa gave me another call from work.  

Book Hairdressing Appointment For Lyssa

Lyssa wanted me to call ‘Alexandria’s Hair Design’ so I could book her in for Thursday.  Lyssa went back to work as I called and made a booking for Lyssa after work on Thursday.  The girl she usually gets her hair cut by is having a holiday for a week.  

Calling Lyssa back I gave her the news.  Then we talked for most of her time on reception before we jumped off the phone.

Spice Girls Girl Group Splits Up

Some news for the new month, nothing to do with me and nothing really that important to my life but to mark the new month the “Spice Girls” have split up.  More importantly, the redheaded Gerry has quit.

Session Singer Phone Interview

Some more insight into my arranging vocals for my Instrumental.  Today I was called by a guy called Miles.  He was inquiring about the vocal part in the ‘Drum Media’.  It’s been almost two weeks and I’m still getting calls about it.  Lucky that I did receive his call (even though it was not predicted and I wasn’t organized) as we talked for a couple of minutes.  I noticed he did have a good voice and a working history.  The conversation went smoothly, ended smoothly and he is probably sending me a tape of his voice soon.

Today in the mail I also received a tape from another performer.  Off the top of my head I can’t remember but even though his vocal style would most probably have suited the song, it wasn’t good enough.  It was worth a look over if I can’t find anyone else.  So here you have it, this month will dedicate my time to searching for a vocal.  If I don’t get fucked up, I will be finishing my instrumental.

Discuss Performer Requirements With Nu Town Studios

Lately I’ve had thoughts in my head of just terminating this Instrumental project.  But considering that I won’t have anything to show for it at this stage and my money would have been wasted, I keep striving to finish.  

Calling ‘Nu Town Studios’ today, I talked to Gavyn because Demi was sick for the day.  Explaining to Gavyn that I wanted the guitarist to at least know about the song he was playing.  He told me that it would cost more money, which makes me hate who I am dealing with even more.  When I call him next

I am going to tell Gavyn that if I don’t have the guitarist (which works for them) to come up with the goods on the day then I won’t be spending my hordes of money at the studio and Gavyn will be losing plenty of business.  I’m sure Gavyn will see it my way and start delivering me some professional quality, not scratchy mikes and dodgy equipment.  When it comes to this industry, they thrive on your money.

Lyssa Asks A Favor

The time reached 3:00pm and Lyssa called me with a problem.  Having no money as we spent it at Lonestar, Lyssa had no way of getting home.  Lyssa’s favor to ask was for me to meet up with her at Leumeah train station and walk her home.  Being stuck indoors all day I didn’t have a problem with that.  After having something to eat I put some clothes on and began my journey.

Reaching Campbelltown in good time I caught the train to Leumeah and waited for Lyssa on the seats.  There I sat for about twenty minutes as I was early.  Then Lyssa showed up.  

Appearing out of a crowd of people I gave her a kiss and then started walking her home.  Lyssa’s feet were so tired I offered to piggyback her some of the way home.  After crossing at the set of lights, I gave Lyssa a piggyback for 100 meters or until my legs got tired.  Lyssa was thankful, as we walked hand in hand to her house.

Return With Lyssa To Her House

The night sky was already dark when Lyssa asked me to stay at her house for dinner.  Declining, we walked into Lyssa’s house where her brother was in the shower.  As I sat down in the lounge room, Lyssa yelled at Kuper to close the bathroom door.  

Turning the television on Lyssa came in with a bag of chips.  Then we walked back into the kitchen.  Picking up the phone I called Imad and asked him to pick me up from Lyssa’s house later.  Imad was coming back from visiting his mum.  He didn’t have a problem with that.

Grabbing a banana I had something to eat.  Then Lyssa and I sat in the lounge room together.  Carleigh came over, didn’t say hello or acknowledge we were there, had a scuffle with Kuper and then left in the car.  Kuper was supposed to go with her but ended up walking out of the house calmly.

Disappointed With The Sun Herald

Perusing over the newspaper I noticed that the Sun Herald is starting to get shabby on their articles.  For example, the front-page news wasn’t that broad at all.  The article was only a couple of columns long, and it didn’t explain much.  

Then it comes to the comics where it used to be large.  I’ve never really liked the comics in the Sun Herald but now it’s worse.  The comics have been shrunk down in size to accommodate for other things.  

Then comes the Employment section, or rather, the lack of one.  There are just so many things missing from the Sun Herald that makes me hate it.  Now that I’ve had my first whinge for the month, I’m happy.

Play Chess Versus Imad

After Lyssa and I mucked around for a while, Imad finally showed up half an hour late.  Giving Lyssa a couple of kisses at the door I told her I would call her later.  Then I left with Imad.  On the way back to my house Imad showed me a new Run DMC greatest hits CD he had bought.

Pulling up at my house, Imad told me how they didn’t really do anything on Saturday night and how Ali’s new extension to his Celica made it slower than Imad’s Celica.  

Imad came into my house.  Immediately he was vengeful to give me a game of chess.  To psych himself up Imad played some games of chess on the computer and listened to some music.  Then with the chess set ready, I made my first move.  Imad distinguishably plays black all the time because he’s a ‘Nigga’ but that doesn’t matter.  I like making the first and last move.

To make the game interesting I thought it would be good to make a twist in the plot and lose one of my non-vital key players in the game.  That did put a twist to the game, as we barked out moves.  Near the end I had Imad in a corner with his Queen, Rook and King.  Piece for piece we took each other, but I ended up with the better deal still holding my Queen.  With that and a couple of other pieces Imad knew he wouldn’t win and gave up.  Quite an interesting game it was.

Phone Lyssa For A Proper Goodnight

Imad left my house at 9:30pm.  When he did I immediately tried calling Lyssa on the phone.  Not to do so would be a crime.  I didn’t have to call Lyssa but in my head I knew that if I didn’t call her I would be thinking of her all night and would feel a sense of loneliness.  There was alos the fact that I didn’t say a proper goodnight to her.  

Lyssa’s mum picked up the phone.  Then Lyssa came running to the phone.  Lyssa was asleep as I suspected.  I wanted Lyssa to get a good night’s rest.

“Give me a call tomorrow from work.  I love you.  Goodnight,” I said.

Lyssa always tells me how she doesn’t get a good night’s sleep for work.  I didn’t want to deprive her of sleep any longer than I had to.  Rest assured, I hope that Lyssa could sleep alright knowing that I had called her.

The Truth That We Will Break Up

Now that it’s been two weeks since I’ve released an advertisement for a vocal, every day I await demo tapes in the mail.  This song that I’m going to be producing will start to get out of hand soon.  I’m facing the problem of telling Lyssa and everyone else for that matter, or keeping it secret for its eternity.  Believing that it won’t be held a secret for too much longer if I have to keep forking out all my money, Lyssa will get suspicious and will then hate me when I tell her that I’ve been producing a song.  Lyssa would probably think that I have been keeping something from her for so long and would resent me for that.  Right now that’s a problem that I face, but for now I’m going to keep it a secret, keep it tight, keep it interesting.

What would happen if one day Lyssa browsed through my Diary at this time in my life, or anyone for that matter.  If Lyssa did pry her eyes into this edition of my Diary she wouldn’t take lightly, and I know that we would be having serious problems.  Each and every day that disappears behind the both of us, it gets harder and harder.  

The painstaking truth is obviously clear, Lyssa and I will break up one day.  But as the days go by it gets harder.  With this time in my head of when I feel would be the right time to travel a different path than Lyssa’s, I feel that as the days progress I am falling deeper into our emotions.  

Right now Lyssa and I are having the best time in our relationship.  We might not be going to glamorous places or being somewhere else apart from the usual on the weekends, but the understanding and communication that Lyssa and I have together is just astounding.  Yes, I am starting to feel worried and afraid of the choices I will make in the future.  I am starting to doubt.

The Love Triangle Conundrum

Let’s take a look at this issue in a different light.  The dream time that I had with Jewell when we were both together for a while most certainly looks like that to me now, a dream.  Every day I am working on the CD or have a spare moment, I reminisce about Jewell and I.  Then there is the reality that I already have, that is Lyssa and I.  Right now we are having a great time living with one another.  I don’t want to lose that part of me.  

Where I am now or rather a month ago, I was living comfortably.  Jewell was calling me on the phone and not letting too many emotions out to throw me off my reality.  Lyssa was with me everyday filling up those empty voids in my life and making new happy memories as time flew by.  I hope that when Lyssa and I are finished that we will sustain some sort of communication.  I take comfort in the fact that Ali and Penelope will most probably get married one day and we will both be at the wedding.  

Going out with Jewell brings so many issues back into perspective.  One of them is having my friends accept the fact I’m with someone else and appreciate the both of us.  That’s if I haven’t moved like I thought I should.  There are no miracle answers to how this whole situation will end smoothly.  There are bound to be some rough patches in the changeover.  I dearly hope there will be no broken hearts or sad emotions.  I can only pray because I care deeply for the both of them.  It wouldn’t be fair to say otherwise.

My plans for tomorrow… I have none.  The only plan I will have is to wait for the mail to come, that’s all.  I’ll also give Demi a call and sort out the problem regarding my Session Guitarist.  Hated is a society where greed is a main venture and success and rewards are so greatly overlooked.  Back in the day I traveled to ‘Nu Town Studios’ because they promised a friendly staff and their ability to hire people for sessions.  On both occasions they have failed in many ways.  I’ll just say after this, I’ll never work with them again.