What can you justify, when you realize that life isn’t all Sugar and Roses. Life as I know it has just plummeted for me into a deep state of thought because nothing is really going for me. This month has taken a turn, but some things still hold true and one of them is Lyssa.
Credit Card Limit Increase Rejected
Ringing to see if my credit card increase was approved today, they declined it without a reason. I know how much I need a car now since I need my freedom. I don’t need to jump into someone’s car and feel insecure.
I need my freedom, and it looks like I can’t get that for some time to come.
Feeling The Financial Pinch
That pisses me off. What else pisses me off is how money is so hard to come by.
My boss is not paying me right, but I’m sticking with my job at Konquer Insurance because I need the experience and money. I have bills to pay that are just too many too soon, and I can’t get a loan from anyone. No one believes in me.
All I’ve got going for me right now is Lyssa. Even though that relationship makes me happy most of the day, I’m still put down by the rest of the burden of my life.
Jett Says Ali Slandered Me
Seeing Jett going to the train station today, he told me how Ali was putting me down last night when he met up with them after he dropped me off.
Jett told me how Lyssa was squeezing Ali’s arm real tight so he would stop driving so fast, but he didn’t. That’s what pissed me off, knowing he’s doing something wrong but doing it anyway.
Now I feel for Lyssa and I feel more pain for me.
Now I’m at work. What fun, I’m going to get paid the absolute minimum my boss can give me, and he still grits his teeth. How fucked.
Some good fate had better come my way soon because of the state I am now. I’m going to crack. Whoever is in my way at the time I’ll take down with me. I don’t care who it is. Who gives a fuck about life if life doesn’t give a fuck about you.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
