On the bus home after picking up Lyssa from the City some strange thoughts started going through my mind. Not really strange in that fact but I started thinking about Clover, the girl I used to go out with even before writing in my Diary. I’m sure I must have mentioned Clover a couple of times in this Diary but I just started thinking to myself about how I broke up with her and how sad she was.
The Day Clover Reveals Her Age
Walking home after the bus had dropped me off, I remembered the day before I told her I wanted to break up. There I was at her house. I think Jett and Caitlin were there as well (since Clover and Caitlin are bound as best friends). I remember the age difference was one of the main reasons I decided to break it off. She had just turned 13 but didn’t look anything like it. I was 16 years old. On top of that, Clover lied to me about her age when I started going out with her. When we started to remotely get serious, she told me the truth.
I remember how nervous she was the day she wanted to tell me. We were at Macarthur Square, which is also where I met her. Jett was with Caitlin and everyone but me knew why Clover was so nervous.
Clover kept getting embarrassed every time she tried to tell me what was wrong. Finally the truth came out. She told me about her age.
Actually, I think what happened was that Clover walked downstairs to wait for her mum to pick her up. Then Jett actually told me. Yep, that’s what happened.
When I heard the news I said, “Is that all! I don’t care how old she is.”
But that would soon change.
Walking down the stairs I sat next to Clover. She was teary-eyed and didn’t want to be seen or talk to me. Sitting down next to her anyway, I started talking and explained to her that I don’t really care. Clover was alright after that. We had a good three months in front of us.
Getting Serious With Clover
Memories I would also like to share. I remember a day or two later I traveled to Bargo to visit Clover (some long traveling). The distance didn’t phase me. Caitlin’s house was closer to the station so I walked to her house with Jett. Then as Caitlin called Clover on the phone I waited for her presence. Ten minutes later she showed up.
The marvelous thing about it was that she showed up on horseback, her very own horse. The horse straddled up to me as I was sitting down on Caitlin’s front steps. Clover jumped off. I gave her a kiss. Then we had a talk, as I patted the horse. That day was when things started to get real between us. We were over the charade of not knowing each other properly.
Limited By Clover’s Age
Clover and I had some fun times together. She was my very first real girlfriend. The reasons we broke up, I just didn’t think she was right for me. At that age, I didn’t really do anything sexual with her, nothing at all, just kisses and getting onto each other. While that was happening, it just didn’t feel right.
Clover wasn’t too bright a person, or she just had a low toned, farmyard voice. It just didn’t feel right kissing Clover knowing what age she was.
Remembering also, Clover’s family were real down to earth people. When I would come over I would feel welcome by her whole family and talk to them when the occasion came up. When Clover and I walked into her bedroom she would have to leave the door slightly open so the parents would know what we were doing, but she usually broke that rule.
There was this one day that Caitlin and Jett were over. Clover locked the door and all four of us were in the room getting it on. Clover’s dad came knocking on the door and asked Clover to open up. When that was done we all snuck out of her bedroom window to sit outside in the darkness watching the horse and talking to each other.
There were also times when we used to play ping-pong in her garage and times when we used to watch movies at Caitlin’s house.
Buying Home Speakers From Clover’s Dad
I remember taking a shine to her father’s speakers. When he was buying new ones, I bought them from him for $100. Those speaker boxes are the same ones in my room now. The difference is they have brand new speakers and sound ten times better.
What I also remember is that no one was in competition against each other. I was completely happy with Clover and Jett was completely happy with Caitlin. Of course we were fairly young back then to be jealous, but it felt good that there was no competition. Come to think of it, Caitlin’s parents were really friendly too. But Caitlin had a baby brother that had ADD the same thing that Ralf is supposed to have. He ran around the house nuts.
Breaking It Off With Clover
Then came the day that I was at her house and I started thinking differently. Three months down the track, Clover was strutting around her house after school and had put on some shorts. Her legs were pretty white. You could tell she had just shaved. Even though Clover wasn’t that bright, she had the right attitude for me, but I think we both built upon ourselves to make each other happy.
That day at Clover’s house I wasn’t so talkative and Clover was getting worried. Gathering that, I told Clover to her face that I had a problem with the age thing and that I think we should call our relationship off because things were bothering me. Clover and I never argued in our relationship. She was upset when I told her my feelings. I’m happy today that I didn’t tell her over the phone and never wanted to know her after that.
That night, Clover and I were on the phone. I feel really bad today for how she was hysterically crying over the phone, uncontrollably, her tears flowing. Clover must have thought greatly of me to cry so much. Heck I felt so bad the day I told her my true feelings, but we both bettered out of it when I think of it today. I’m not sure that I had a relationship for a long time after that, but Clover and I remained friends, which was great.
Going Our Separate Ways
Days later, with the help of Jett and Caitlin I traveled to Bargo with them because Clover missed me but just wanted to still know me. That day when I made a trek up there, our feelings were blanketed by my words a couple of days ago. But you could see the disappointment in both our faces. Clover was just happy to still be my friend after the whole ordeal, which is why she wanted to see me.
After Clover and I broke up we occasionally called each other on the phone. We stayed good friends for a fair amount of time. Then when Clover got herself a new boyfriend after around six months time I was happy for her. Memories ran through my head that day but I was happy. Still, I hadn’t found anyone that I could be with after that.
Jett and Caitlin went out with each other for a year and a half. Clover had sex at a young age with her farmyard boyfriend. Everyone knew he was wrong for her but she liked him and made a mistake.
Clover has moved to Perth since those days. I’m not sure if she’s still living there but it was good to write down these memories.
Yep, I didn’t find anyone until I met Kathryn. I’m sure she’s in my Diary somewhere or I think I met her before I started writing in it. Nevertheless, if that’s true, then one day I might do a couple of pages remembrance for her.
A Day In Sydney With Lyssa
Now it’s too early to write about the day just passed. Let me just say that I was in Sydney with Lyssa a little later than usual. I’m home now. I am ready to have something to eat, so I will write the rest of today in my Diary later.
It’s been a while since I’ve done two entries in the one day. Is this a trend?
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
