The Fight Threatening To Break Us Up – Mad Chaos: November 30, 1997

Continuing on my topic, as I was interrupted once again, this time by Lyssa walking into my room after having a shower. 

Exploring New Territory With Lyssa

Yesterday, when we woke up, Lyssa and I had a real good oral time in the morning, for me anyway.  Lyssa once again explored some new territory.  We are open about our sexuality now.  She touches me wherever and I touch her wherever without hassles.  It was amazing for me.

Returning The Suit To Sydney

Getting ready in the morning, we were dressed, catching a bus to Campbelltown train station.  Once again we caught a train carrying the suit in hand, but this time we caught a quicker train and were in the City in 45 minutes. 

Handing the suit back I commented how good the suit was.  He let me off on a fine, luckily. 

The Weird Nerd In McDonald’s

We walked around Sydney for a while looking for a place to develop 2 rolls of film from the year 12 formal.  All places were expensive, so we decided to go home, but not after visiting McDonald’s. 

We parked our rear ends on a bench upstairs.  We laughed at a strange guy, computer nerd in his 30’s who was sitting by himself on his lunch break on Saturday drinking his drink.  Every slurp he took, his eyes would bulge out of his sockets, as he surveyed the terrain.  Lyssa and I had the biggest laugh at his expense.  Sad but true. 

Developing Photos in Campbelltown Mall

Coming back to Campbelltown we put the photos in and had them done before 5pm in Campbelltown mall.  While there, we talked to Bielka. 

I got a copy of the Drum Media.  Lyssa was hysterical to find that Dave from Nirvana was playing in February in Sydney.  Lyssa was all excited and is now finding a way to get money and some people to go with her. 

We showed Bielka the pictures.

Showing Formal Photos To Lyssa’s Family

Then we traveled to Lyssa’s house where we also showed the pictures to Carleigh, her brother and mother.

Penelope came over on Saturday night also.  We viewed the pictures, as we both ordered some Pizza for the night (even though I was already broke). 

Lyssa’s mum left the house for the whole night and morning after.  Ali then came over. 

We all sat in Lyssa’s room talking about the night to come.  Simon’s party was on tonight at his house.  Lyssa was having a shower and getting ready for a night out. 

Pike On Simon’s House Party

When she was ready, all four of us jumped into Ali’s car.  We headed for Pizza Hut where Simon was waiting for us.

Arriving at Pizza Hut we found that the only people that were going to be there were Lucas, Tabitha, Phoenix, Rory and Simon.  That’s basically it.  Deciding not to venture all that way for nothing, we drove to Woodbine Macers and dined on some food. 

Lyssa wasn’t feeling that well so I bought her an ice cream.  Then we sat down and talked to Penelope’s cousin.  A little bit later Lyssa and I wanted to go to my house, so we ran that past Penelope.

Lyssa Wants To Hire Hotel Room

Lyssa was real horny last night.  She wanted to hire a hotel room, but I didn’t have enough money or time, so we didn’t do that.  Penelope wanted to go to my house also with Ali, but I didn’t allow that. 

Lyssa and I got dropped off at my house just before midnight.  It wasn’t long into the night when we started to get heated with each other.  It was bound to happen.  Going to sleep we knew that when we awoke in the morning we didn’t have any commitments.  We didn’t have to do anything.

Lyssa Reads My Diary

Lying asleep until 1pm, Lyssa and I woke up and mucked around a bit with each other before waking up.  Everything was going fine.  We sat down on the floor, as Lyssa and I mucked around a bit more. 

Now, the night before Lyssa stayed over she had a shower in the morning.  My Saturday entry was being typed out and Lyssa walked in while I was typing.  She had a shower and had left the water running and I was caught out.  It was my turn to have a shower.  She wanted to read some of the Diary so I told her she could.

In the shower I realized that if she read this month’s part of the diary she’d see the thoughts about Jewell I’d written and get very angry, so I only took so long in the shower. 

Coming back into my room I noticed Lyssa couldn’t get it started, but still wanted to read the Diary.  After some controversy, I decided to let her read September of this year.  I walked upstairs to get food for us to eat. 

When I came back down I was hoping there wasn’t bad things in that month that could hurt Lyssa.  She was almost all smiles but I found out that there were some real hurtful words in my diary.  Lyssa kept all of this inside until Sunday morning. 

Lyssa Suddenly Turns Nasty

We were reading the paper and having a real good time when all of a sudden it just turned nasty.  Lyssa wanted me off because she wanted to read an article in the paper.  I got angry.  I told her I was angry and didn’t want to talk to her.  She took that to heart and told me she wanted to go home. 

So that was a whole weekend ruined right there when Lyssa picked up the phone to call Penelope and her mum.  No one was home, and Lyssa was forced to talk to me. 

There was no real point of us having an argument.  It was stupid for the reason it started.  I learned that Lyssa didn’t like it when she was reading my Diary.  I learned that she misinterpreted what was written.  She was only reading a page or two of bad writing and was judging me on what she had read three months prior to this day.

Lyssa told me she had a hurt deep in her chest and had only felt that three times before.  The time I walked out of Bielka’s house, the time when I made her feel real cheap on my bed when I was only after one thing and then she left for home crying.  The other time was when I told her to pick up a man at Chevy’s with her new blonde hair and forget about me.

Show Lyssa The Real Diary Story

I was real depressed and angry today and so was Lyssa.  It got to the point where Lyssa told me the last five months meant nothing to her.  I told her to walk out of my house.  Also, I told her if she walks out she’d never see me again.  She stayed. 

We tried to talk things over.  The only way I could see it getting better is if I turned on the computer and read through September myself and see what was so hurtful.  Lyssa stopped reading my diary halfway through the first time because she didn’t want to take it anymore.  When we both read through it we were near the end and she could see she was wrong.

She thought that the night of our Anniversary when I took her to a hotel, she thought I hated her, but I showed her that wasn’t true.  I showed her these past five months and more have meant so much to me.  She left my house because Penelope called my house.  Lyssa sort of told her she was having an argument and wanted to go home.  Penelope called Ali and he drove her home, not knowing the real story.

Asking Lyssa Whether It Is Over

I called Lyssa half an hour later after she got home and we talked for a little.  We sort of made the situation better but hung up not really knowing if it was over or not.  I didn’t want it to be over and neither did she.  That’s why she called me back. 

The second call was more mellow and understanding.  We got a lot more talking done.  We talked about how she had a smoke on formal night and how I was unhappy to see that and we also talked about commitment and love.

When I confronted Lyssa about “Love” and if she had any there for me, she asked why ask a question as big as that.  After pausing, the question never got answered and I never asked again.  Lyssa told me there’s a love there but she doesn’t know about loving me. 

I know there’s a definite love for Lyssa within me.  I know I don’t want to see her go yet.  I know we are meant to be for now and I couldn’t picture me without her. 

Feeling Exhausted After The Fight

Lyssa and I are alright now.  What I have to do is go to sleep early, rest my eyes because they are very drowsy at 9:30pm tonight.  I’m very tired and I have to work tomorrow.  I’ve probably only got one week left.  Then I’ll be hanging out with Lyssa, with lots of money left for bills to be paid.

Today is also the last day of the month.  We have only one month until this new year.  I’ll be with Lyssa then most definitely.  I guess next month will be a time of uncertainty.  A new month for me and my typing, a new month for my life and chronicles.