Writing A Ballad For Lyssa – Mad Chaos: September 10, 1997

Martinson Engineering Work – Wednesday

Another day of remembrance for me.  Waking once again for work, it’s already Wednesday, so I’m happy the weekend is just around the corner.  

Ringo came back today after a holiday.  That means our work was shared, so I wasn’t that stressed.  

Write A Song For Lyssa

Not having work, I decided to go about writing a poem for Lyssa in our 3 months of going out.  Words didn’t come easy writing lyrics of joy, but they came easier writing about sadness.  An hour or two later I had the lyrics for a song within my hands.  These are the lyrics.

How Do I Tell You

(VERSE)

Remembering the good times that we’ve had,

Those memories now make me so sad,

Cause all my life you’ve breathed the air I’ve breathed,

And all of a sudden you just packed your bags and decided it was time to leave,

So now I’m here so miserable hiding behind my shadow,

With a picture of your smile,

And now I know (now I know), that I’m so sad to see you go (I’m so sad to see you go),

You really mean the world to me, and babe how do I tell you,

(CHORUS)

You’re the one and only person in my mind right now,

And I’m so sad to see you go,

And when we would fight I’d hold back every tear of sadness,

I wouldn’t let you go,

I wouldn’t let you go,

No I wouldn’t let you go,

For something so simple…

(VERSE)

My heart is aching thinking bout the past,

And I feel my memories were shattered like broken glass,

I remember the first time when our lips had touched,

I never did believe the thought of that could have hurt me so much,

And when you would cry, there still would be a you and I,

But now that’s gone and changed,

And what did I say (what did I say), for you to behave in this way (you to behave in this way),

You don’t even know how much I care for you, so how do I tell you,

(CHORUS)

You’re the one and only person in my mind right now,

And I’m so sad to see you go,

And when we would fight I’d hold back every tear of sadness,

I wouldn’t let you go,

I wouldn’t let you go,

No I wouldn’t let you go,

For something so simple…

(VERSE)

So now I’m here so miserable hiding behind my shadow,

With a picture of your smile,

And I’m so sad (I’m so sad), reminiscing bout the past (reminiscing bout the past),

I’m so in love with you, and babe how do I tell you,

(CHORUS)

You’re the one and only person in my mind right now,

And I’m so sad to see you go,

And when we would fight I’d hold back every tear of sadness,

I wouldn’t let you go,

I wouldn’t let you go,

No I wouldn’t let you go,

Now babe I wanna ask you,

(BRIDGE)

Didn’t I give you what you need,

Didn’t I satisfy your needs,

For you to leave me far behind,

Or maybe in another state of mind,

Didn’t you even see me bleeding,

My hands were out for you to reach me,

You didn’t reach out babe, you didn’t reach out to me,

You didn’t give me your hand, and babe will I ever understand,

(BRIDGE)

What have I done, What have I done to you my babe,

What have I done, and babe will I ever understand,

What have I done,  What can make my love for you so wrong,

What have I done, What have I done,

What have I done, for all my life I’ve always been so strong,

What have I done, but now my babe you’ve left me so alone,

What have I done, Please my babe, won’t you tell me,

What have I done, What have I done.

So that’s my new song.  I just wish I had someone that knew a bit more about producing a melody and piano arrangement for my music, then someone to sing for me.  

Coming home from work, as I was talking to someone on the bus I had the song on my mind.  

Amiga 500 Dos To Dos Project

At home I called Mace Finkle.  He gave me some tips on how to successfully convert my Amiga 500 diary files from Amiga Dos to MS Dos.  

Discuss Contraceptive Pill With Lyssa

Working on that, Lyssa called me.  We talked about contraception and going to a GP together on Saturday.  She wants to do this but without anyone knowing she will be on the contraceptive pill.  Decision making like contraception suits both of us.

The Four Stages Of Relationships

Let me just say now, Lyssa has gone from the first chapter to chapter two.  There are many steps in chapter one to get to the next chapter.  You have to get comfortable with your partner, accept what he or she does, and go through steps like your first kiss, your first hug, your first night out together, basically all your firsts until you get to sexuality.  

Now that me and Lyssa are making decisions affecting the both of us, we’ve reached chapter two.

Chapter two as far as I can tell so far is all about trust and decisions.  After all, this trust and decision making is what might take you to chapter three; commitments beyond petty things like calling at a certain time everyday, things more serious.    

That Chapter is also devoted to people who move in together, and sharing things with your partner.  Only the inapt get out.  

The people who are married strong stay with the relationship and hopefully build upon it.  That stage is the fourth.  You never really know when you’re in the fourth stage until you have been asked.

Making Weekend Plans

Tomorrow Ali and I are driving to Macarthur Square to meet the girls.  I’m not going to be seeing Lyssa until Saturday because she will be at a party on Friday.  

This week is very extensive and so will be next week, where I’ll have to do something for Lyssa.  But as far as today is concerned, I’m pretty dry for ideas on what to do for her.