A Mentally Disciplined Fortnight
Fit my feet walk me back home from another day of due process, disciplined to lap up another fortnight closer to achieving my goals, where for these last fourteen days, lacking has been the usual extravagance whose sabotage is the undoing of what ends meet.
About the only err was my impulse on the eighth, which sullies my step back into society but that humility seems far behind now. I would not consider it an extravagance because it did nothing to subvert the coarse of my goals, so albeit, this fortnight has not loitered behind.
Gone was the usual depression associated to reclusive hiatuses in my bedroom or likewise triggers that tip my extravagances to occur. Because there were demands like food shopping, exercise and discipline to engage me, I never felt any chronic states.
Olanzapine of course had something to do with the manifest confidence that took wariness away, but it was nice to see nonetheless, a smooth, uninterrupted fourteen-day moderation.
Paying Down My Mess Of Debts
The last woken three hours of today have been spent making the final transactions of achievement by visiting town to hand in my form. In a progressive respect to forward thinking, the occasion was also used to plan a final lump sum figure toward the outstanding amount of my link loan. I see it as the next priority after leveling the overdraft on my credit card, followed by my telephone arrears. If this rate of discipline can be maintained, the whole of my debits can by the end of next month be cleared, and that is true progress.
I can’t remember a time when the money in my account was not swallowed instantly by overheads.
I used to once have more freedom before the Reich of bills came along, and before depression made me spend extravagant and unrealistic amounts of money on prostitutes and momentary highs. I used to have more money than I knew what to do with. But somewhere along the line my integrity fell out from under me.
Now, like a new incumbent government, the treasurer’s job is to clean up the mess that the last party left behind. Now come the cutbacks of responsible spending and perseverance to change to a surplus, my deficit. Now the final extravagance is over because new practices and preventative measures have erected new statute stability, and that is the lead to my current status now.
The Manga Band Sessions Stress Release
The only indulgence this fortnight not attributed to the topping up of groceries had been the social music session that jasper, nestles and me had last night, alias nestles being a reborn rendition of the negative because the old association no longer fits him.
In any case, the much-needed social had me buy forty dollars worth of alcohol for the occasion, as nestles picked me up in his van and we three headed to the jasper lair. While there we drunk a bit, the boys smoked a bit, and then we started strumming our instruments in a bid to gel our sounds.
In the end we managed to create a baseline and some acoustics to it. All party to the event wrote lyrics, whose task was given to me to sing. It sounded catchy too, even with a dozen shots rumbling in me, making the collected grime on my teeth feel like underwater algae, as my tongue estimated across it. I had a good indulgent night nonetheless, banished from feeling the wariness of anxious stress.
Once we zoned out with the guitars, the instinctive traits took over as a natural distraction. That alone, like playing a sport, working out at the gym or to a lesser degree, the concentration needed in these memoirs here, caused the anxieties to lapse and switch off from inside the back of my mind.
The guitar was a release, an object therapeutic that lost me in its proficiency. So despite the small extravagance of forty dollars spent, the liquor and the bountiful endorphins made for a priceless night out of the house and out of this anxious hold quick becoming insufficient.
Resume The Diary Editorial Process
As for the rest of today; there are some domestic issues to graze on now, like cleaning the dishes. I may even self-reward with some revision of the histories so that one day not so distant another booklet can be printed out.
Scraping Over The Line Unscathed
Tomorrow when my money arrives there will be a cause for shopping, and for the gym, since today a headache and hangover hampered me. I hope for a new procession of integrity. I hope that without extravagance comes tomorrow and the start of a new fourteen days. But only time will tell how much concessions will be made, if any at all.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
