It’s been a long and arduous day. That’s saying something, considering my day started at 2pm. Most of last night as you will know from the last entry, I was fixing one of my old Diary entries that had to be upgraded from the Amiga 500 format.
Dedications CD Radio Edits
Upon waking up this afternoon at 2pm after a long and blissful rest, I had no plans, nothing to do. As a point to help me wake up, I had a shower and what is known now as a secondary routine action. I turned the computer on.
For the whole day, the computer has been turned on just like at work, but I haven’t been using it all day. For three hours I sat there working on the cuts where the voice-overs will be placed on the Instrumental of the CD.
Shelving Session Singer Plans
Today I was planning on calling two musicians whom I have kept details of. Choosing against this as I didn’t have a lady vocal or a destintion to meet just yet, I postponed it, maybe until next week. This CD has been in the cooks for months now. We are in the final stages. Only one month to go is what I’m hoping for.
Next week should be more productive though. Getting ready to place an advertisement in the ‘Drum Media’ for a female voice-over, I’m then meeting up with the voices (probably in the City) for an insight into their work. Once my money comes in after three weeks from now I’ll be ready to record at Piper’s Studio.
Well it’s only half an hour to midnight now and it’s almost time for me to jump off to do nothing. Just thinking out loud to myself, I’m paying $50 for each voice-over to do their part. In reality, the most lines any one person has is around thirty words or one paragraph. Now I say that is a fair price for each person. Then add on the cost to advertise in the ‘Drum Media’ and the cost for the Audio Room, it adds up, and all for just one minute of talking.
Postpone My Call To Jewell
Without a whisper within the air, my ears only heard the sounds of my parents, music and the sound of the wind breezing through the warm weather outside. Yes it was a sunny day today but I was completely oblivious to any gratification, and thus, remained indoors. Besides, a couple of hours after waking up, the sun was going down.
Thinking that Jewell would be home by now from her two-week holiday I thought that if she really wanted to she would call me. But I knew in my mind that I would receive no call from her. Why I believed that… well apart from the fact that she would be strenuously exhausted from her holiday in Queensland, calling me would have been the last thing on her mind. Rest would have been the first. For that reason and my belief that I shouldn’t call her first is the reason I postponed my call to Jewell.
On the other hand, I thought Lyssa would also give me a call. But once again in the back of my mind I knew that she wouldn’t. After our argument over the phone two days ago as we agreed that we were both aggravating each other (and then I said “If I’m aggravating you then don’t talk to me on the phone”) that could be the reason Lyssa didn’t call back today. Sheer pride halted Lyssa’s call today, just like my pride stopped me. But alas, I did think about calling Lyssa but decided against it. We need some time apart for our realization.
So today I’ve been sitting here bored doing nothing important. No exercise, no social activities, just commitment to my computer and television. My thoughts are that neither Lyssa nor Jewell will call me tomorrow, Lyssa because she is too proud and Jewell because she is disillusioned. I’m not sure what Jewell is trying to pull but being free now of any commitments (what she’s wanted for an eternity), she’s treating it not only with caution but avoidance. She doesn’t believe in me.
Jewell is off on holidays until Monday from what I know. If there’s no call between then, which I doubt, then I will be at a loss to what my actions will be.
The best way to describe the feelings would be to finally win a contest after years of preparation and practice only to find that you’ve been stripped of your medal at the end of it all because of some technical error unforeseen.
How would you feel.
Keen To Resume Physical Exercise
Tonight, I’m going to try and get some earlier sleep than the past few nights and try awakening myself up around midday tomorrow. That’s not impractical. I just have to get off my butt and do something, and that something could be weights.
Ever since I’ve been to my last interview and lost hope I haven’t been training and have been gaining. Detrimental as that is, I’ve decided to do more about it than just Ab Crunches here and there.
Tomorrow if I wake up early enough, I’ll take an hour out of my boring schedule and work out, see where it goes from there.
Placed Onto Work For The Dole Scheme
With Centrelink starting to stuff me up now and placing me on the “Work For The Dole” scheme, job hunting will be the go in the next two months following. If not, I would prefer to study music or graphic arts (maybe even photography) and still receive Austudy.
Figure this out, I would rather study in a field that I love, learn more than work in an office, which I know, will happen.
These days, with the CES out of the picture, it’s going to be hard to find my type of job. The people that I will be asking to help will only try and get me out of their hair as soon as possible. That means sending me to the jobs available at the time. For the exact amount of time and effort, I would rather study than work. Sounds logical.
Shutting Out The Outside World
For an hour or two today I just shut out all outside activity and turned on my music for a while. Starting to get into the lyrics of my R&B compilation, I turned the light off, closed the curtains, and lay on my waterbed fighting my yawns that brought tiresome tears to my eyes. Some songs struck a chord in my heart, but not enough to emerge my appetite for sadness.
Thoughts of my olden days are still striking a nerve at the moment. Like I said last night, I wouldn’t mind acquiring the old letters I sent to Linda or Tashi many odd years ago.
Brite Wite & Sound Stream Origins
On that note also, I wouldn’t mind seeing the raps I made when I was a part of the rapping group called “Sound Stream” and “The Brite Wite Niggaz” at one stage. Sad names I know, but these are the starting blocks of my creativity, and sharing them in this Diary would be an achievement.
Remembering back in the days I tried to copy them over but the operation didn’t work. Then I gave my rotting computer to Tatton. Unfortunately, Tatton also bought an IBM and now the computer is just sitting at his house untouched.
Maybe I’ll ask Jett to bring over his Amiga one day and we’ll work on it from there, since he still has my mum’s camera from when I lent it to him over a week and a half ago.
Imad Is Seen As Selfish
Today I could have called Imad or Ali, but lately Imad doesn’t seem to care. Maybe Imad is hooking up with that chick he’s been talking of, but that’s not an excuse to dog me, especially with his mobility.
Once I called Imad and he was coming to Campbelltown. He told me he’d visit. Instead he drove to Ali’s house (which is close to my house). Then they went out to play pool with Penelope and Imad’s latest squeeze. That’s pretty selfish, as he knew I was now alone. Imad is selfish though. That’s a word that has been going around a fair bit in this month twelve times to be exact as I have just perused over the document.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
