One day has passed and the mist has settled, crowds have gathered and everyone significant has been informed. Lyssa and I really have done this. We have really broken up. Both still sad, we know it was the right thing to do.
Watching Tennis To Keep Calm
Last night, with Lyssa calling me in the morning and waking me up which I haven’t mentioned yet, Lyssa was starting to make me feel like I would only be calling her once a fortnight because she would be pissing me off. With the bravery I showed today to rid my bad feelings and talking to Lyssa on the phone, we realized our friendship shouldn’t be hindered by anger.
Last night, after speaking with Lyssa on the phone and writing in my Diary, I started to watch the tennis. My thoughts were to go to sleep around 12:30am. But watching the Tennis kept me awake and took my mind off my thoughts when I felt like not thinking.
Lyssa Phones Up In Tears
Nearing 2am my phone rang. I knew it was Lyssa. Picking up the phone, Lyssa was in tears. She just kept asking if I would get back together with her. Knowing that it would be wrong to go back once again, I kept disagreeing. I knew the triangle was once again in full effect.
This rejection that I gave to Lyssa was like that I received from Jewell last night. Because of this, I knew how it felt and didn’t want to do that to Lyssa. I knew it would be so painful and hurtful in her stomach, but I couldn’t get back with her. How Lyssa was crying, I will never forget it. To make someone that upset will just be in my mind forever.
It’s good to know that I will always have had someone real that I dearly loved.
Lyssa Is Not Strong Enough
Ten minutes after our conversation Lyssa hung up the phone in tears. Falling to sleep, I was drifting off when the phone rang again. Confused by the darkness, it took me a couple of seconds to realize where the phone was located and I picked up the receiver.
Once again Lyssa was pleading for me to take her back. But even though she knew it was a bad idea, she didn’t care. Somehow, things weren’t finished properly, they never are. But I believe we have done enough together with each other.
Lyssa pleaded.
Feeling the need, I said to Lyssa “Why can’t you be stronger?”
Lyssa got upset from that, as I knew she would. But she needed that boost in her own confidence to see it the right way. After that the conversation was over and we both went to sleep.
Love Will Always Live On
Lyssa told me that it comes as a relief that we broke up when we did because Lyssa has been crying relentlessly for the past week or more. Lyssa just couldn’t take the pain of knowing Judgment Day would be coming soon, she took it into her own hands. Peace has finally been found and Lyssa and I are living in harmony, let not for the remembrance we’ve had for the past.
Sure, while time went by I stopped giving her letters and showing my affection but I still loved her and still do now.
The love I have for Lyssa can diminish but it will never go away.
Deep in my heart, the love I knew for Lyssa will always be there, in my memory.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
