The last two days have gone smoothly. Today I don’t seem to have the same enthusiasm as before.
My 19th Birthday At Cataract Dam
Starting with the good on Sunday morning, I woke up near 11am as Lyssa called me for the picnic. Talking to Lyssa for ten minutes, she called Penelope, and Ali called me. All of us were driving to Cataract Dam for my birthday in Penelope’s car. Getting ready, I borrowed some money from my mum, had a shower, had something to eat, and then waited for Penelope and Ali to arrive.
Driving to Bradbury shops I bought the biggest watermelon I’ve ever seen. It cost me $5 for the whole thing.
From there Ali drove to Cataract Dam because I guess he didn’t want to lose his ‘Big Head’ by letting his woman drive. It would ruin his ‘Bad Boy’ Image, and to Ali it’s all about image.
Parking at Cataract Dam we took out the blankets, food, and towels, since the temperature was over 40 degrees. Sitting there we conversed about the night Ali and I had and told our story in whole.
After that I had some watermelon to eat alone because no one else was game. After having some more to eat, we sat around and watched happy campers coming up the walkway. We also watched clouds surround the area above our heads.
Lightning Strike Narrowly Misses Ali
Wanting to explore the Cataract Dam, we jumped into the car where it had already started to sprinkle.
Driving down to the dam, we parked the car. Lyssa and I scooted off to take a look. I remember that I came to Cataract Dam when I was real young with my Auntie Mira and my parents.
Taking a good look at Cataract Dam, Lyssa noticed that it had started to thunder and lightning was all over the sky. The rain clouds were enormous and had swallowed the blue sky swiftly. Lyssa got scared. We hurried to the car while Penelope and Ali stayed some more to view the terrain.
Lyssa and I noticed that the lightning strike got within 5 meters of Ali and Penelope as they were running towards the car.
By the time they jumped in the car, it was fully raining hard on a road that was melting tar a short picnic away.
Driving In Rain As Dense As Fog
Driving home was fairly dangerous, as the weather kept its peak on the highway. The water was so dense at one stage on the highway we couldn’t see two meters in front of the car. The rain was almost as dense as fog.
Driving near to Campbelltown the rain was near to a half and hadn’t reached this part yet or had passed us.
Blowing The Birthday Cake Candles
Driving to my house, we all jumped out and into my house where I had a home movie of me on television. Lyssa had my birthday cake prepared. Lyssa put some candles in the cake and lit them, as I had some watermelon made for the occasion. Once again, I had to eat it all.
Lighting the candles I made a wish (to make millions is the usual), blew out the candles and then cut the cake, making sure not to touch the bottom, as Australian tradition goes. Dealing the cake around, they sang me happy birthday. I had realized that Lyssa had baked the cake for me that morning so it would be fresh. Lyssa did dedicate plenty of time towards the picnic and my birthday.
After the cake business Penelope and Ali walked out to the front to talk, as they had problems from Saturday night. Lyssa and I sat in my room talking, hugging, kissing, you know, the whole thing.
Ali and Penelope drove home soon after and Lyssa stayed over my house on Sunday night.
Sunday night after everything was finished on television Lyssa and I turned the lights off and took lots of material possessions off in a good attempt of passion. Firstly Lyssa smiled. Then I got my turn, but we both didn’t end up having a mutual smile.
Trek To Liverpool With Lyssa & Nikita
Monday morning I had an interview so Lyssa and I went to sleep earlier to wake up near 8am, at which time we both had our showers. Putting some clothes on we had something to eat and then left for a walk to Campbelltown to meet Nikita who was traveling with us. Meeting up with Nikita I noticed that she was wearing a yellow top with denim pants, which made her stand out.
Nikita had to buy some clothes from Liverpool. Since my interview was from 1:30pm, we thought we would visit Liverpool first.
Lyssa and I took our money out of the bank, where Lyssa received her new keycard. Lyssa and I both received $175 from the government and will be receiving that payment every two weeks until we have found a suitable full time position.
Catching the train, we traveled to Liverpool where we sat in front of two old people who smelt like diarrhea. The smell was so bad we had to walk downstairs and it still wouldn’t fully escape our clutches.
Lyssa Buys Me A Present
Walking to the mall in Liverpool we looked at a few clothes shops but finally stopped at Hound Dog. Lyssa had seen something she wanted to buy but was waiting for another good day. Nikita had seen some clothes she liked and had bought herself a shirt after trying it on.
From there we had some food to eat. While I had McDonald’s the girls bought themselves some small pizzas.
One last look around the shopping center led Lyssa to buy me the first portion of my present, which was a sheet set for my bed. It consisted of two pillow cases, a sheet to tuck into my bed and another sheet to go on top of my bed. Lyssa spent $50 for me on that present. With me there, it wasn’t really a present but it was a gift that I treasured from Lyssa to me.
The Telesales Job Interview
From our little luncheon we walked back to the train station. We then caught the train to Auburn where my interview was. The job available was a Telesales position, which basically involved people ringing a 1800 number, which was our call center. The people would ask for some business promotions. My job would basically be on the phone with plenty of Data Entry and Word Processing.
The walk to the interviewing office took 20 minutes. Lyssa sat inside with Nikita to wait for me. Not really worried about the interview from the start, I found myself quiet and scared of big questions and answers that I gave.
The interviewer was a real nice guy. He told me how they have barbecues every month and how I would be paid real nice for my work. The job was real good for me, except I didn’t handle the interview to my best ability. I always dropped talking and had nothing to say because I was in a small state of panic.
The most panic I received was when he told me that I had to either speak Cantonese, Italian or Greek and fluently. Telling him that I could fluently speak Greek was dumb, as I only knew how to count to ten in Italian, one swear word in Greek and a couple of words in Cantonese, nothing fluent.
I was scared that he would ask me to speak Greek. I thought he was about to but he must have seen me quivering in a corner and ended the interview there. There is no real chance that I have this job hooked but I definitely wouldn’t take up the opportunity because I had lied.
Walking back to the station we all sat down on one of the seats. We looked out of place as I sat in the middle with a suit on and Lyssa and Nikita beautiful-looking and nicely dressed on either side of me. Sure would have made an impression on all the hard-knocked folk of what is Auburn.
Nikita caught the next train to Parramatta where her parents were managing their shop.
Pick Up Developed Photos In Campbelltown
Lyssa and I caught the train after that back to Campbelltown. We took out photos that Lyssa had put in when we reached Campbelltown this morning. The photos were of Lyssa when she was at Adelaide with her mum and mum’s family.
Getting something to eat at Sydney Fried Chicken, we walked out early. Luckily we had seen our bus pull up. Lyssa and I bolted for the bus and luckily just made it on.
Watch ‘Con Air’ With Lyssa
Lyssa was sleeping at my house again tonight. With my blessing we watched some television shows. Then we walked to Bradbury shops in the rain holding an umbrella. At Bradbury shops we bought some munchies to eat and rented a movie for Lyssa and I to watch.
After watching some awards being handed out to the Titanic for best film, we put ‘Con Air’ on and watched it for the remainder of the night.
Lyssa got real tired and went to sleep near the end of the movie and when it was over I tried to sleep on the new sheets that Lyssa had bought for my birthday.
Trying to sleep on my waterbed that night we managed half an hour. Then I jumped onto the ground and persuaded Lyssa to come down with me. Sleeping on the ground as usual, we slept until late hours in the morning.
Lyssa Shares Gossip With Penelope
This morning Lyssa and I woke up knowing that Lyssa’s period was coming up today. Lyssa didn’t have any pads to protect herself so we had to make an attempt to get to her house.
As Lyssa had a shower and something to eat in the morning, Velda called our house and Lyssa talked to her. After that conversation, Lyssa called Penelope to tell her some ‘Goss’. Then Penelope came to pick us up.
The Revolving Door Of Lyssa’s Friends
Saving us some traveling tickets, Penelope took both of us to Lyssa’s house. Penelope stayed over.
Then Velda drove to Lyssa’s house half an hour later and joined us. Velda is a very friendly person and was always open and comforting towards me.
Lyssa was beginning to worry me as she had no signs of getting her period. I was afraid that something might have happened.
Having something to eat, all the girls went to the veranda where Penelope and Velda had a smoke and conversed with Lyssa.
Lyssa and Velda went for a drive to Minto to get some pictures developed for Velda. They left Penelope and I alone at her house. Penelope had to leave ten minutes later to pick up her mum. I was alone for ten minutes until Lyssa and Velda came back.
Before the girls came back Shelby’s boyfriend came over. I let him in and treated him to a drink. We had a conversation before the girls came in. As Penelope hadn’t come back, they had to pick the photos back up. They were buying McDonald’s, so I waited for Penelope alone again in the house.
Lyssa came back with food and pictures. Then Penelope came back. Velda and Shelby’s boyfriend left soon after. Then Penelope left to come back later that night.
Penelope Drops Us Off At My House
Within an hour Penelope came back, as it was pouring with rain almost as bad as Sunday at Cataract Dam. Running to the car, Lyssa and I were saturated, as Penelope gave the both of us a lift to my house. Lyssa had received her praised periods until this point. That was a relief to the both of us.
At my house we started off fine, but then grew quite distant. Lyssa would watch television and not recognize that I was there, just fully concentrate on the television. I would get angry that she wasn’t paying attention to me.
Informing Lyssa, she turned off the television. Then she threatened to leave. But then we talked it over. As she turned the television back on after our dispute, she came and lay next to me, as we played around and talked.
Penelope’s House Party
Lyssa has an interview tomorrow. Velda invited her and Penelope to her house for a little while tonight too. When Penelope came to pick up Lyssa, she also invited Ali and me to the party. I put some clothes on and jumped in the car.
Traveling to Velda’s house, it was alright, as Velda and Rita were there. Bringing Penelope’s photos with me, I viewed them as Lyssa and I sat together. Ali once again had to show himself off by telling the story about Saturday. Imad called a little later. After I told him where I was, he popped over while I was in the middle of thought.
My first problem of the night started to arise as I walked outside with Ali to talk to Imad. Just as Imad was about to leave, Velda opened her garage looking at her car. She asked Imad and Ali to look at it because it had a leak. All the girls were out of the house at this stage. I can remember the sigh they gave out when they found out that Imad was coming, like they didn’t want him to be there. But when Imad did arrive, they wanted him to stay.
Suspicious Of Something With Lyssa
I think that Velda found the time to have her car checked because Imad was there and she used to like him. That didn’t really worry me until Penelope started mucking around with Imad bashing him up playfully. Lyssa and Penelope seemed much more playful when Imad arrived.
I remembered how Lyssa told me that her and Penelope hate Imad so much, that they hate him with a passion. I also remember that it sounded so put on when Lyssa told me that, so I’ve always thought there is something I’ve missed, a part of history that Lyssa, Penelope or Imad are involved in that I don’t know about or there is a hidden attraction towards him that would never be told but could be noticed.
Like a hidden attraction I might have for Nikita or Rita that I know they are pretty and attractive and I look at them differently, but never think of them more dearly than the one I’m with, Lyssa. Unlike me though, Lyssa likes to ask questions about Imad whenever he’s mentioned, and sometimes when he isn’t. Where I think that Nikita or Rita are also beautiful, Lyssa would probably think that of Imad or another one of my friends without me knowing.
To me I don’t really care about Lyssa liking someone I don’t really know, but when it’s someone from within the four degrees of separation, I get worried. That’s why I don’t really worry when Lyssa goes to a nightclub with Penelope, because I don’t know the people that try to crack onto her. But if someone like Imad went along I would get real concerned and worried. Wouldn’t everyone?
Too Much Weird Flirtation Occurs
So yeah, as Penelope was playing around, Imad decided to muck around with Lyssa. But she played it nice by involving me. As I sat on the grass, I got somewhat upset when Lyssa decided to lean on Imad’s car near Imad and cut me out. Ali and Penelope hugged each other and I was still without Lyssa, making me feel bad and think badly. Everyone could see I had a problem as I sat on Imad’s car.
When Imad went away and I was alone, Lyssa jumped in and sat with me, asking me if I had a problem. Not wanting to say anything in front of a crowd (I believe that my thoughts are private), I decided not to say anything. Lyssa got angry.
I would have been happy if Lyssa just kept holding me and being with me, as she should have known I had a problem with Imad, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but mine and how I think. In my head I’ve always thought there was this magnetism that brought Imad and Lyssa to my attention as a part of their lives that is a missing link to me, and I’m not aware of.
I’ve always thought that Lyssa has known Imad before me. She has, when Lyssa was at the movies with Leah and Imad was with all his Leb friends.
Lyssa got upset and walked inside and so did I, as she had something to eat. Imad called me back outside to use my phone. Then we walked to his car, as he fixed it and then headed off home.
Ali Drives Erratically At The Runs
As I was walking back into Velda’s house I found out we were all leaving for the runs. Jumping into the back of Penelope’s car, Lyssa and I weren’t talking. All I was waiting for was for Lyssa to hold my hand or comfort me until later.
Reaching the runs, I was known for the soul in the car that didn’t say a thing. Jumping out of the car at the runs, I talked to a couple of people, and then jumped back in the car. Lyssa tried to talk to me but people like Velda could hear our conversation, so I didn’t want to talk. Lyssa took that personally. Then we headed off for a run.
Driving to Ingleburn, Ali was behind the wheel. I thought that was bad because I knew that Ali would drive erratically. The reason Lyssa was in Penelope’s car was so that she could get away from Ali’s driving, but I guess Penelope was being soft to Ali’s big-headedness.
Driving to the runs was alright but Ali didn’t take the time to wait for Velda who was behind us with Rita and was only on her L’s. The runs were rumored with police, so we headed off with the crowd, where Ali started to drive like a dick head.
It amazed me that Penelope didn’t say anything to him. It was her car he was caning but she let him run cars on the way to Campbelltown. Lyssa was pinching Penelope on the neck and screaming at Ali to slow down, but the dickhead wouldn’t listen much because of his big head.
Losing My Temper With Ali
Ali has no respect for Lyssa and obviously for me, as he thinks he can walk all over Lyssa and I because he is driving the car and he has the control. Ali didn’t take my girlfriend’s feelings into consideration. I got real angry with Ali as it all just started to build up.
Ali done something real stupid that could have injured us bad. Around a slight curve he took a car over and ran over large clumps of dirt, which could have forced us into the curb and to crash. Everyone had seen what was about to happen. But because Ali had a big head he took all our lives into his hands and did it anyway.
It was all quiet after Ali passed the car.
Penelope was also angry with him, but it didn’t last. Ali didn’t get as much as a smack in the hand from either of us. I guess we all thought he would realize what a stupid thing he done and slow down but he was too stupid to even realize that.
Lyssa went home straight after that.
Feel Like Choking Ali To Death
I remember watching Lyssa pray when Ali was about to take that car over, how it made me feel useless. At the same time I had visions in my head of grabbing Ali around the neck, pulling him to the back of the seat and just choking the mother fucker to death because I was that fucked up. There were more thoughts that were rolling through my head because I was so aggravated that Penelope wouldn’t say anything to Ali and that he would walk all over Lyssa and I by driving like he did, knowing that Lyssa was in the back screaming at him to stop.
Reading that just makes me frustrated so much that I’ve had thoughts of buying a very sharp knife and sinking it into anyone that aggravates me by hurting Lyssa in any way. When someone hurts Lyssa I flip. Only once before have I almost lost it and flipped, and that was once again with Ali.
The thing is I’ve done the same thing with Keith. He fucked with me through my girlfriend and I don’t need his friendship anymore. I don’t need Ali’s friendship anymore and I could kick the fuck out of him if I wanted to, but because we have been through more together I always restrain myself from saying anything whilst around Lyssa and Penelope.
Silent On The Drive Home
Driving back to the runs after dropping Lyssa off, I stayed in the car as they jumped out to talk with Imad. Sitting in the car, Penelope tried to make things better but didn’t do a good job. Staring at Ali through the window, he asked if I wanted to go. All I could think about was hurting him real bad like he tears apart at me, I would tear apart at him. Ali asked if I would like a lift home. Without saying much he said goodbye to Imad and then jumped in the car.
Beforehand Penelope practically ran to Imad’s car to muck around with him and it made me think again what Lyssa told me. The road was silent to my house and was more silent when I didn’t say but one word stepping out of the car. Unlocking my door, I walked onto the road to realize that Ali had stopped the car further up the road. I would like to think he was talking to Penelope and actually realized what he was doing wrong tonight, but I know that tonight won’t be the only night I’ll be angry with him. Next time I see Ali and we are alone I will bring the conversation up. If he does get testy I will get aggravated and start to get psycho.
Jewell Mails A Birthday Card
At home I called Jewell for a minute near 10:30pm on her mobile phone to thank her for a birthday card I received from her today. The birthday card was a good one that shows how she remembered my birthday. Saying a few words I found I had to talk to someone tonight and I said my thanks.
Now I’ve placed Jewell’s letter where Kathryn has hers. Lyssa doesn’t have a problem with the letter.
Lyssa called a few minutes after that. She asked me about tomorrow. She was then going to hang up the phone but I knew she wanted to know more.
Lyssa and I talked about my problems tonight. I was glad to release these problems into the open. The two problems we discussed were my feelings about Imad today with Penelope, and then how Ali drove and the thoughts that I got in my head of cold-blooded attack. Everything is alright now, but I still have problems in my mind that have to be cleared.
This morning I have to wake up at 7am to reach Campbelltown station at 9am. Meeting Lyssa there, we are visiting her interview in the City. Then we will be coming back home, where she might sleep at my house. Lyssa and I will be watching Scream 2 tomorrow night also.
The time is now 1am. After an hour or more of typing, I’m off.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
