Nathan Gives A Performance Review
Uncertain is my future with this company, Martinson Engineering. Today, just a while ago Nathan came into my room and had a talk to me about having a day off on Thursday and Friday. It seems that he wants me to work on either one of the days. So I chose Friday starting at a later time.
Then the subject switched to my job. Beforehand, Nathan and Ringo were discussing something behind closed doors. I guess now I know what that was.
Nathan sat in my room discussing all the little things that I do wrong and how I could open up more doors for working here. He also told me that all of my work has to be checked and that he could give me more work but just doesn’t have faith in my work. Basically he was putting me down in a nice way.
For an hour I sat there listening to him, agreeing with him. Then when it was over, I had a long think.
I’m thinking that I’m really not happy working here. That’s why I’m slack most of the time, sloppy with my work. My thoughts right now are to get another job, maybe something part time and do what I really wanted to do, which was study music.
Today’s talk was stressful. I am only young, a blank canvas and have lots of territories to explore in this domain of mine. To quit now is a bad idea. To resign with no more bills on my belt is better. But to think that I have to be here until the end of the year, though not far away, is not satisfying. What’s more, I have to pay off my bills.
Considering A Second Job
I’m thinking of applying for a second job while working at Martinson Engineering, something on the weekend so I can pay off my debt sooner and work on money for a car. Imad has it good. I wouldn’t mind working at one of the Mobil stores.
In one day all of my thoughts turned into a twisted perspective. No longer is everything a “Have to wait” thing. It will be a go out and get it thing. I’ve got to start looking for different work because I really don’t want to be stuck at this job for longer than I have to.
Contemplating My Financial Position
Let’s contemplate where I am right now. I’m still where I am when I started the job, same workload. I’ve got a computer that just barely makes it into interesting to look at. My work is boring and repetitive, and I feel like I’m trapped here.
Today I’m going to buy the Chronicle paper and read through it, all the job vacancies that there are part time, apply for them and see what will happen. I will also ask Imad if he can hook me up for a position with Mobil.
Lyssa wants her dress also. This money thing is really biting me. The one thing that is still true through this whole ordeal is that I will be interested in music.
This talk really has shaken me up. I’m not sure what is out for me to reach. I don’t want to receive government payment. I’m too used to working now.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
