Living With A Sense Of Optimism – Mad Chaos: June 11, 2003

A Wholesome Day Of Highs

As the hours course on and the miracle of television and “State of Origin” is over, and as we delve vicariously into my memoirs’ tapestry to rake old entries for a sense of position, the journey makes it hard for me to believe that a trip into town and the purchase of a mobile phone was all done today.  At least it seemed like yesterday but indeed it was today.  One can possibly attribute that to the various novelties and to my ability to wake up earlier these days.  

I no longer live an undermined existence, and so the easier function allows me a more vital life.  A more virtuous life has also helped increase the vitality, as it is easier to live this wholesome impression without the seedier side.  

I see in light now instead of in the darker terms of resignation that submitted me to computer games or massage parlors.  I also have moderation now, which was not the case in an undermined existence, to which my ill mind was winning the war.  

Nope, today was a wholesome affair of natural endorphins and no negative behavior, and it was fun.  It was a day of dimensions and not sunken in stalemate depressions, and it is a difference to the usual sober entries that so recently used to circulate.

Revising The Diary Histories

Some of my best literature was written in fast-paced, healthy and blissfully naïve environments back before anxiety and its counterpart psychosis was discovered.  I used to have an “x” factor, but life continually depressed.  I used to have a zone to speak of in my memoirs but the duteous care slipped gradually, until the circulation of my memoirs was finally cut.  

I read now and understand that these memoirs no longer circulate.  Part of the reason has been my acceptance into an undermined existence.  I used to have motion and motion made me think fluently, but now there have accumulated plentiful boundaries and taboos, and my memoirs suffer to sound so vague.  

I used to have three showers or I used to come home feeling secure that my social life was apparent but the battle of anxiety had changed me, until recently.  Now the differences and insecurities in retrospect can be seen.  I find it hard to see a whole picture however, since my recollection is stapled to my memoirs and their effort is so huge to consider.  

Seeing The Day With Optimism

I do like this entry however.  I like it because it returns to simpler, more fluid, more collected alms.  I like it because it is a simple, transparent message so unlike the mess we used to see.  I like it because it stamps the truth, and those are the stones that build atop these memoirs.  

I liked today because it was full yet simple, and it even had a chance to stroll down memory lane.  A certain essence was had.  But if only the writer had more days like this again, his message would be coherently formidable.