Friends Are The Backbone Of My Confidence
I want to be another number instead of an outsider, equal instead of an outcast. Hanging out with Aussies has given me a false sense of insecurity for which the self-conscious emerged with such influence.
Hanging out with the old boys allowed my character to come out naturally. Since the fallout, it has slowly dwindled into the coyness that the mischievous has now become.
Imad and Ali used to be the backbone of my confidence. Since the days where they were left behind for a different crowd of skips, settling into their comfort zone has just been that much more difficult.
These new boys have slowly molded me to my coy conformity, one which has exploited my inner strength for far too long. People push me around too often these days, and when they aren’t, the self-conscious makes sure his misery is long-drawn.
People that string others on are notoriously on my bad side. But unfortunately, because Capricorns tend to keep their angers pent up inside, the wrath rarely gets seen. Hopefully Shawn hasn’t been stringing my hopes along for these last few weeks of talking up a new used car.
Looking To Buy A Used Car
One thousand dollars is sitting in the bank waiting for me to head out tomorrow and buy a car, which can be done the easy way or the hard way.
The boys had their chance to show their true colors when asked if they could help me look for a car tomorrow afternoon, which would be the only free day either one of us would have before someone had to go to work. Tyler already piked it late last night when asking which of the boys would help me out.
“Nah,” he smirked yawningly, choosing his sleep over a friendly favor.
Shawn seemed just as nauseated at the idea of actually making some effort to help me out.
“You only have to do this once then you won’t ever have to do it again,” came some assuring words from my mouth, words which may have seemed tediously spoken in their minds.
Eventually there came a confirming nod but none as enthusiastic as my mind rolling with thoughts of finally driving.
The Easy Way Or The Hard Way
Now, owning a car can either be done the easy way or the hard way.
Either my friends can help out in driving me around until we find something, or the selfish-made bastards could have me walking around week to week scavenging for just any four wheels to take home. Which will it be, the easy or the hard way?
Surely Shawn wouldn’t string me along, bailing out on the last moment. But we’ll just have to wait and see tomorrow.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
