Mad Chaos: Tuesday, June 6, 2000

The time now is 5:15am.  I came to write in my diary.

Dreams are becoming a regular occurrence and thankfully, they are remembered with more frequency.  

Reciting A Vivid Dream

This newest dream woke me out of bed only a few moments ago.  Tracing through the entire dream, it is a relief that there is barely anything sexual involved.  This dream was uncommon compared to the dreams of nudity and sex that usually dominate slumbering hours.  

The greatest thing that fascinates me about this dream was how realistic it seemed.  People in my dreams are usually blotches in my memory, just faces I have never seen.  Tonight nearly every character in my dream was known except for the main lady in this little twist.  

There was nothing too special about this dream but it would be interesting to decipher.  Let me begin then.

Fumbling Between Two Girls

The dream began with two of the main characters.  One of them was that shy, innocent girl called Cherish (funnily enough) that was introduced to me at Chevy’s one night.  The other girl (whose role was the most important) is not as easy to describe and maybe there is a reason for this clouded mind on the main character.  

From what I remember, this girl wore her black hair back in a ponytail, had olive skin, looked Latino or European in appearance.  The person she would have closely resembled was Alice, the girl who used to visit that lady next to Tatton’s old house in Airds.  The girl also reminded me of the gorgeous (but natural looking) chick I was introduced to at Ettamogah Pub all dressed in white, the Latino-looking girl.  

The only uncertain portion of the dream is how these two girls made their way into my house.  One of them was definitely there before the other, but there was only a fraction of separation time before I started juggling both of them around.

The Majestic Rooms

The dream is set in my household.  There are two floors as here, but the only rooms that aren’t surreal extras are my bedroom, the two rooms and hallway outside my bedroom, the kitchen, television room, and the stairwell.  

Some imaginary rooms also made the house seem larger, like a small mansion.  These imaginary rooms were used to hide the main girl in my play on several occasions, or rather, to have her wait for me.  

The rooms seemed magical because they had a certain aura before you would step through the door.  One of those imaginary rooms (extensions in my house) was actually my dad’s room.  Like all other rooms, when I stepped in there, it felt majestic.  

As it begins, the plot has both girls inside my house and me trying to find them separate magical rooms to wait in.  Both girls were beautiful.  It seemed that fondness was inadvertently making me lean towards one particular girl.  

At the start of the dream they were both friends, but I paid particular attention in keeping the girls separated from each other in case of rivalry.  

“Go wait for me in that room,” I would say to the Cherish girl.  

As she would walk down the stairs into one of the magical rooms, I would escort the other girl (let us call her Alice) to another magical room upstairs.  Both girls seemed innocent and they were both understanding each time I would direct them to a magical room.  

Subconsciously Choosing Alice

This room swapping went on for a couple of minutes.  In that time, I started leaning towards liking one particular girl, Alice.  When my mind was finally made up, the girls automatically knew.  

Each time I would walk into a room with Alice, we would talk about what we wanted to do for the day.  At one time, we both lay on a bed in my mother’s room.  There was absolutely no nudity, and I respected her too much to consider kissing.  Lust was nonexistent in my dream.  

As time passed, I grew more loving in this bond with Alice.  

For some reason though, I had to keep swapping the girls from room to room.  

Faintly, I remember that I could have been sneaking the girls around so my parents wouldn’t find them because they initially had no clue.  Sneaking two girls around my house with no sexual tension was something unique in my dreams.  You could see me having sex with two women in dreams but sneaking two girls (that I liked) around my house was new.

Desiring Both Girls

There was a turning point in the dream.  It was when I approached my dad.  Asking him if I could take one of the girls to a special room in the attic, he told me that we couldn’t.  Sifting through the freezer at the time, I slammed the door shut and had a bit of a snap at him.  

With the girls still in their respective rooms, I started walking downstairs.  As I reached the last few steps, I noticed someone stepping through the front door.  It was Ralf.  Behind him were two friends, supposedly his work friends.  One of them was a familiar Samoan that knew my brother and the other was a friend of his, probably Ralf’s cousin that he always hangs around with.  

Following them were people like Bình, Tatton, and around nine other people who all said hello and walked into my room.  This surprise company was reminiscent of the days I used to have video nights at my house and everyone would come over.  It interrupted my plans with the girls.  

As the boys walked into the room, I anxiously wondered whether I should affiliate the girls with the boys.  It would have made me self-conscious wondering if they would ever get along, but it never ended up happening.  

Casha And The Macedonians

Just as I was about to walk upstairs, the crisis got worse as Casha my cousin and godmother walked through the front door.  

“Hello Tony” she said, as she walked towards the room just outside my door downstairs that links to the backyard.  

Behind Casha were all these cousins and Macedonians I was supposed to know.  As they all filled the second room, suddenly I had two parties to attend to.  

Remaining composed as this train of people flooded through my front door, I remember the Cherish girl approaching me while I was speaking with Casha.  

Standing near the cabinet in the room with the stairwell and front door, Cherish approached me and said something.  Holding a bowl of canned mangoes in her hand, it seemed like she had made some food for the guests, or at the least, brought the one bowl from downstairs.  

Cherish Makes Her Move

The only sexual bit happened in this encounter between Cherish and I.  When she handed me the bowl, I placed it down on the cabinet beside me.  Casha was behind the both of us in ear’s shot, as she directed everyone into the spare room.  

Cherish automatically knew by now that I was wooing Alice.  It seemed like she was trying to seduce me in an innocent way.  In the only surreal spin-off, Cherish was naked from the waist up, but it was unnoticed until she placed her hand on my hip as a friendly gesture.  

“Where is Alice,” Cherish asked, diverting attention away from her hand on my hip.  Cherish did say the girl’s name but I can’t remember whose name she mentioned in the dream.  

“I don’t know, have you seen her,” I wondered, as I began to realize she was half-naked and her hand was on my hip.  

Cherish being half-naked wasn’t idiosyncratic because I feel it served as a test of temptation.  The fact that I didn’t even notice she was half-naked until she placed her hand on my hip shows that lust wasn’t dominant.  I was a moral man.  But as she uttered her first alluding sentence, I casually placed my hand on her waist.  

Cherish caught me by surprise.  When I placed my hand on her hip, it was more an act of being stunned and obliging than anything of lust.  

Bodies Pressed With Cherish

Meanwhile, Casha was watching the two of us lock eyes and start to mutter our words, as we fell into a deep, wary trance.  

“Where do you think Alice is,” she would ask again.

Each time I would reply, it would seem that I was mouthing off anything.  

Cherish’s hand on my hip had preoccupied me.  For a few moments, our eyes were glued together in an innocent but forbidden glance.  

While more people poured through the front door, it pushed Cherish and I closer together.  With her naked body now pressed against mine, we continued to talk in charades trying to avoid the obvious.  

“So you haven’t seen Alice then,” I asked, with Casha still in the background smiling at our courting innocence.  

“Come on, let her go in,” Casha smirked, as our two bodies were pressed against each other and our heads comfortably close.  

For the whole time, it seemed like Cherish was handing me the bowl of mangoes to take to the guests, while she was going to join the boys in my room.  This capped off the end of my dream.  

Joining Alice Upstairs

When Cherish left for my bedroom, I snuck back upstairs and sat with Alice at the sliding wooden doors between the kitchen and television room.  We were both looking out the television room window at the icy weather outside.  It could have even been snowing.  

“What do you want to do today,” I asked her, as we tried to make plans.  The commotion downstairs was forgotten for these small, sweet moments sitting with Alice.  She was so beautiful, so down to earth and passive when she spoke.  These moments of planning were the last moments of my dream.  Sadly, before anything could get decided, I woke up.  

The Meaning Of My Dream

There is no one meaning for this dream when I try to put it together.  There are some unlikely theories to this dream.  One theory that I would like to stamp out at this point was the identity of the unknown girl.  Subconsciously, there could have been a link between the Cherish girl and my Lyssa from The Lost Years but there was nothing (no gut feeling) to substantiate that.  

If subconsciously this was true, then the unknown girl could indeed have symbolized Jewell.  

To come to think of it, apart from her brownish black hair in a ponytail and the olive color of her skin, she did resemble Lyssa Spencer in her stature and some characteristics.  The passive fondness I had for this girl however wasn’t as overwhelming as my fascination for Jewell.  

However, to add more to this angle, when all the boys packed into my room unexpectedly, it made me reminisce on the days when we all used to cram in and watch movies at my house.  Although the story was set currently, you could have set the surreal scene in those initial days when I was going out with Lyssa.  

Casha and all my cousins would be the only idiosyncrasy of this theory.  So, I sit here and wonder what the dream meant?  

Ultimately, the dream was about two girls that I like and one that I end up choosing.  Faith in relationships is honored in my dream, and lust was faceless, even when Cherish was innocently tempting.  Hmm, interpret that if you may.  

The time is now 6:35pm.  So you could also calculate how fast this passage was written, much faster than the usual two pages an hour I guess.