Record ‘Dank’ Rap Song With Jett – Mad Chaos: July 18, 1998

As I quote from tonight’s conversation with Jewell and I which stemmed from 9:30pm beyond midnight, her chosen words to be quoted were, “This is twisted.”  Once again I quote from the predecessors of my past and present.  More on that later tonight though.

Right now, let’s talk about some news.  Starting from my last diary entry, which was the middle of the day, I spent most of my time indoors mucking around on my computer.

Jett Introduces Me To South Park

Nearing 5:30pm I heard Jett’s motorbike out the front so I ceased what I was doing and greeted him.  Walking into my room he handed me the camera but told me that the batteries were flat.  So I gather he probably left it on for an eon.  

Jett and I then started into the conversation.  That was intriguing as he usually gets up and leaves because he’s got something to do.

Bringing South Park movies with him, we placed one in my video player and commenced our laughter at the sight of fart jokes and anal probes from aliens.  This comedy is funny.  I’ll start to watch it when it appears on SBS on the 20^th this month.  

Jett and I then went through all my games in my Amiga 500 collection trying to scour for the floppy disk with the rapping on it, but we couldn’t find it.

“It’s been a while since we have gone out to do the old shit we used to do,” Jett then told me.

Phone Phreaking With Jett

Then our conversation turned into pranking.  I informed him about my computer’s potential with phreaking.  With that news in his mind we tapped the phone with a microphone extending from my computer and then commenced calling Phoenix’s house.  Somehow, she is always the first one on the list to be pranked and humiliated, but I’m never the one suggesting it.

With the computer ready and set to record we dialed Phoenix’s number but her brother jumped on the phone.  Jett continued to bag him out.  We taped the whole conversation as Jett asked for the ‘Slut’ and then abused his mother until the brother finally hung up the phone.  Still that was all we needed for the capability of my computer, as we set off to work.

Patiently waiting, we ran through three programs because the computer wasn’t working properly and failing to cut and paste from some programs.  Placing Jett onto the microphone once his voice had been edited out of the original recording (with only the receiver saying things like “Hello” and “Who’s this”) we added a couple of funny pieces to the recording.  At the end of it all Jett and I were in stitches with our achievement.  

The Phone Prank Transcript

For our first recording I will print out the whole achievement we had made, combining Jett’s external voice into the rearranged original recording.  

Receiver: Hello

Phone rings once

Receiver: Pardon

Jett: (with a huge chorus attached and real loud) You heard me mother fucker (the phone rings once again with chorus).

Receiver: I don’t know of who you are talking about (staggeringly)

Then we taped Jett saying exactly the same thing but in a mocking way and we slowed it down almost to 50% of the speed.  It sounded like a slow and loud insulting French Man.

Receiver: Who is this calling

Jett: You would have to have heard this part to fully understand the humor behind it but with a very loud chorus and echo behind this voice we made Jett bellow “It’s God!”  

Straight after that my voice sounding like a drunk Lebanese saying something like “Da be sha ga van scara boo za boo boo” and once again slowed down to half giving it that unique drunkard sound.  

The phone rings one more time again giving it that delirious effect followed by a sped up sneeze that was heaps hilarious.  

This was all followed by the original hanging up of the phone and then Jett laughing in an echoed voice followed by our announcement “This has been a broadcast of J & E Technologies”.  I ended it with “Thank you”.

So there you have it one of our mortifying phone call pranks, only in the future.  That’s right, no more of this tape bullshit.  It’s all in here.  It’s all in the computer babe.

Balling Tears Of Laughter With Jett

After that conversation we rang a couple of other people and played the same recording to them and cracked up every time.  When we were finished we decided to be more creative.  I had Jett do his impersonation of ‘Beavis and Butthead’ doing their impression of “I Am Carhoulio” and sped that up to a treat.

When I jumped on to the mike all hell broke loose.  You just had to hear it.  When I done my impersonation of a Lebanese talking and then we sped it up to almost double the speed there were no stopping the tears from flowing.  Sounding like a very fast talking Leb it ended with me spitting as it was part of the language.  Then you hear Jett doing the same in the background, like he was agreeing with what was said in his spit, like a voice bubble.

Record New Rap Song ‘Dank’ With Jett

Finally, I started doing a beat onto the microphone.  Then I asked Jett to make up some sort of rap.  When we played it back and slowed it down a tad it sounded pretty good.  Sending a Chorus through the start where I done a solo beat, Jett then started with his rap.  We ended up the song after four bars.  For the record, here are the lyrics that we used…

Cruising down the street in my Chevy six-four, bust out the door, on the floor,

Niggaz got their hands in the air, put my mind off as I’m bout to step,

Got your minds going in berserk, bout to bust a cap in your ass,

Niggaz in the house, jump left and right, yeah that boy is out a sight.

Hittin all the tricks out in the nine, bout to hit the tracks then I’m down for mine,

Rolling out the dank, pop them pills, then I rest in a cloud of smoke that’s real.

Fuck that snitch cause I’m down for mine, didn’t think it hurt, thinking it hit pay dirt.

Calm your ass sit down everybody, smooth the grooves Mr. DJ spin it.

Well while I was trying to figure out my own little variation to the rapping we’d already done. I added that last verse just then.  I’ve been on the computer for the last hour.  Slowed down, my voice sounds like that of Snoop Doggy Dogg’s.  I’m proud of how it all sounded together.  

The rap started with an intro of beats from my mouth, then Jett’s rap.  From there, there was another solo for my mouth and a couple of turntables scratching as I got that sample from ‘Gravediggaz’.  Precariously placed, I then headed for my part which is outlined above.  

From that there was an extended ending including mixes from other parts Jett and I done today including the ‘Beavis and Butt-head’ (specifically the ‘Tee pee in my bung hole’), and then the Lebanese talking finished it off which ended greatly with a light flick from ‘Gravediggaz’.  Once again, you could hardly hear it.  

Spitting from the Lebanese talk took you out to the end.  I have to say it’s pretty good for a home job.  I’ll probably call Jett over my house tomorrow and see what he’ll say.  He will think it’s mad.  I’m laughing already.

Surprised By Jewell’s Phone Call

While Jett was over my house and we were mucking around on the computer I received a call.  It was Jewell.  Asking me if I had someone I told her Jett was over.  Instantly I thought her mind expected someone like Lyssa to be in my room.  To prove her mind wrong I chucked Jett on the phone, as he talked to her for a little.  Then it was off.  I told Jewell I would call back in half an hour.

Lyssa Drops Off Group Certificates

Ten minutes later Lyssa called me.  

“Something’s going on.  Ah I see,” Jett raised his brow.  

Kiley was actually on the phone informing me that they will be over my house soon to drop off my Group Certificate from Centrelink.  Jett left soon after because he had to get home and eat.  So I awaited Lyssa and Kiley, who only took ten minutes.

Not needing to be jealous, Lyssa made her way up my walkway and handed me the form.  Not much words were exchanged as Lyssa was wearing fairly tight pants.  She was out to impress I guess.  

“Have a good night,” I bid her.

“Don’t worry I will,” came her reply.

 I’d like to think she said so in an appeasing way and not out of spite.  Suspicions were aroused when I heard some male laughter from the car, but that’s just me being overprotective of my jealousy.  It was probably only Kieran.

Jewell Too Stubborn To Meet

Zealous with impatience I called Jewell up at 9:30pm.  We talked for a couple of hours.  For the second half of the conversation I tried to have Jewell meet with me.

“Do you want to meet with me tomorrow, for old times sake?  It has been over a year since we have seen each other.  We can finally hang out,” I said.

But she was persistent.  There was no budging her.  As her trademark, she was definitely stubborn.  

Although I didn’t plead I tried my best to convince her but Mrs. Stubborn didn’t want to budge.  

“I am not sure,” she said.  “It is not that I would be too nervous to see you.  That’s not it.  I have to consider your past.  You just broke up with your girlfriend.  I think you need time to get over that first.  It would be too early.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” I mentioned.  “I just thought it would have been nice to just see you once before you starts back at school.”

I’m sure now that there are no barriers.  Her anticipation would have been one of great power, but her brute persistence to be stubborn has been proven one time too many.

Not complaining, Jewell and I had a great talk on the phone.  A new fad for me is hearing Jewell say “Put another shrimp on the Barbie” or some other Aussie term because she sounds so Australian.  Jewell tells me how people always refer Jewell as a look-alike for Kylie Minogue.  She even sounds like her.

Imad’s New Girl

Imad also called me tonight from the drive inns with his girlfriend.  So now it’s legitimate.  It’s his girl.  Only talking briefly I asked him to bring the Amiga 500 over some day, but I don’t really think he would be listening.  Imad was calling because he hadn’t called me in ages.  It seems the fad these days with most people.

Lyssa Is Free To Flirt

Well I’ve said my piece now about the past.  I wonder how Lyssa’s night went.  She would have been down at the Catholic Club drinking schooners of beer and getting drunk as usual.  This time there is no deterrent from her male friends that buy her beer.

If someone makes a pass at her, she is free at will.  I wonder how Jermaine is doing, that little faggot.  If he goes out with Lyssa one day then I will personally take that as an insult against me.

“I’m gonna go him man.  Yeah man I mean it.”  

Lyssa can now go back to smoking if she wants to.  I wonder if she will.  I doubt it though, now that she’s working out and all.  I wonder how long that will last her.

Time To Return To Music

Well we’ve been on this computer for a while now.  It’s 3:40am.  You can see how much I’ve been mucking around.  Let me just finish off my day while I can.  Then I’m getting back to my funny music.  It’s not all that good but I just can’t stop listening to it.  It’s got the kind of humor and animosity that makes it lasting.