Asking Jewell To Come Over – Mad Chaos: July 22, 1998

Centrelink Imposes Financial Penalty

Starting my actions in Campbelltown, the first place I visited was the bank.  Checking my balance I wasn’t shocked to find it was lower than usual.  The government is just fucked.  Taking out my available money, I was gathering my feet and started to walk towards Centrelink.  Nearing the lights I turned back because I didn’t want to hear their shit over and over again.  It started to depress me.  

Life on government pay sucks but it was alright when they didn’t touch me or fuck me up this way.  Still, I have to find a job, and I know I will have to retrain myself in the field I choose.

Entering the Commonwealth Bank, I deposited enough money into my Credit Card so Optus can take it out.  Walking to the Telstra office I decided to pay $120 on my bill.  When all the chores were done I collected the ‘Drum Media’, the Tax Pack and then headed for the Library.  

My time in the Library wasn’t prolonged.  I only made one copy.  Collecting that from the printers, I headed home.

Walking to the bus stop I decided with the money I had that I would lounge around for a while.  Jumping onto the bus I relaxed on my way home.  Just as a ticket collector jumped on the bus (and I lost my ticket and had passed my bus stop) I jumped off one stop short.

Assessing Second Dedications CD Design

Back at home I cut out the CD cover and then placed it on top of the CD.  Seeing that grayscale did not match with the red and blue underneath and then golden green next to it, I knew my color coordination sucked.  

Knowing that I had to change the color coordination of the CD print, I jumped onto Adobe PhotoShop and started mucking around.  Right now I’m still working on CD cover design, but I think I will make the CD color golden yellow (known better as antique) so it will blend proportionally with all of its surroundings and underneath.  Only then can I have some color coordination.  Apart from that, it’s looking excellent!  When I’m finished with the color tonight I will save that onto floppy disk in preparation for tomorrow.

How To Spend My Tax Return

As for visiting Frank tomorrow, I’ve worked out with the Tax Pack that I am entitled to $330 tax back, so I will use that money to record with, and use some money on printing.  So next fortnight most of my money will be given to the Optus bill, while the rest will be used on the other two CD prints.  

By the next pay I should have received my Tax Return.  Together with the money from the government I should be able to finish up the CD, finally.  This CD has been in the framework for almost half a year.  Not every day has been spent on it, but all in all, there has been plentiful work given out toward its direction.

Phone Lyssa At Night

Nearing 8pm I gave Lyssa a call, as I knew I would out of good faith.  

“I am so tired from my aerobics workout tonight,” Lyssa told me her about her routine on the bikes.

Lyssa was preparing for the next day, so we only talked for ten minutes.  

“I might call you tomorrow, depending how busy I am,” I told her.

Then Lyssa said goodnight to me.  

Well how about that, I didn’t think I’d be that good with words tonight but here I am remembering most events of the day.

Phone Jewell At Night

Now moving onto the conversation that Jewell and I had.  I can say that we were lively from the start.  

I yelped out “Hello” over the phone to Jewell. 

Not really seeing this side of Jewell, she also raised her voice gesturing me.   

It was funny how we were going on, as if we were two old geezers that needed hearing aids.  After all, today is Wacky Wednesday, where after her dancing, Jewell is imbecilic.

Our conversation lasted until Jewell was lying in bed tired at 11:10pm.  In that time here are some of the conversation that was bestowed within us.  

Discuss Our Old Memories

To start off, I was talking about back in the days.

“Do you remember the first time I hugged you,”  I wondered.

After a lapse of memory Jewell told me it was when we were saying goodbye at her door and then I gave her a hug.  I remember that night I didn’t want to kiss her because it would have been too sudden for her.

These days Jewell has changed.  To me it just seems like she’s more aggressive in getting her sexuality exploited.  Jewell seems like she’s more open to talking about predicaments involving sexuality and isn’t shy.  

Jewell still won’t comment about the thoughts in her head, but it’s evident that they are ridden with perversion of the highest degree.  

Maybe not perversion, but Jewell and I even had a discussion about pornographic movies.

“I don’t think pornography is realistic,” she shared.  “Porno is just people having sex, where in reality, they make love.”

Soon, she told me a story. 

“I found a movie in my brother’s room.  I chucked it on and found out it was pornographic!”

Jewell isn’t dumb.  She would have seen it was R-Rated and had been curious.

I can’t explain it but sometimes it just sounds like Jewell has been around by the things she says.  For example, with the openness she has to sexuality makes me worry sometimes that she probably has exploited her body to others.  Then there’s the factor that she can’t wait to get out into nightclubs.  Just the grim smirk that comes through the telephone makes me believe that she’s after a bit more than just dancing.

Jewell Prepares For Her Formal

Jewell also told me of her formal night.

“For my formal night I will be renting a five star hotel for the occasion.”

“Who is paying for the night,”   I asked.

She sounded taken back somewhat.

“I am paying for the room,” she told me.

Personally I think her best friend (which is that guy that tried to get onto her ages ago) rented the room with intentions in his mind.  That fits with the notion that Jewell didn’t want to set a date for the both of us to meet.

Jewell wanted to postpone our arrival until after the formal.  By this time, Jewell and I will be going out, and I’ll be fucked if I let her visit a five star hotel with her best friend.  I know what happens at these places.  I’ve been to a couple and they are only making trouble for her if she is sleeping there with this guy.  

Last night also, Jewell made it sure that I don’t know who this guy is.  She’s trying to protect him, so she has feelings for him.  When Jewell receives my CD she will be so overjoyed that she will forget about this guy.  I only hope that she doesn’t forget about her HSC because that’s two years wasted.

Boyfriends At Dance Class Lessons

Jewell told me about her dance class tonight.

“I have to do a solo dance in the finals,” she said.

Sarcastically, I informed Jewell, “I will be there cheering you on!”

But she would have none of that.  

“At my dance school most of the boyfriends come to the lessons to watch their girlfriends,” Jewell explained.  “But I won’t have my boyfriend there.  I believe that if my boyfriend attends my lesson, he will be looking at other girls.”

Changing the mood of the conversation we then talked about how back when I was sixteen I would trial different girls.  I told her of Clover and then Phoenix who was Berenice’s friend back then.  

“I was sixteen.  I only wanted to see how it felt to sleep next to someone back then,” I told Jewell. 

The most valued sexual act in my mind wasn’t kissing nor having sex, but to lie next to someone and see how it felt like to sleep through the night with them.  Well, apart from some hanky-panky, I did that with Phoenix.  

“It is so ironic.  Those were the exact thoughts I had in my mind,” Jewell remarked.

Turning To Lewd Thoughts

My queries were then broadened to whether or not Jewell became drunk in front of me.  I don’t think she did.  

From that we moved onto ass pinching.

“I used to obtain pleasure from pinching your butt,” I said to Jewell. 

“I think my ass is big.  It is out there,” Jewell argued.

“No way!  I fail to agree.  I think your ass is flat,” I argued back.

Jewell and I then discussed short skirts.

That soon led to visiting me at my house.

Asking Jewell Over To My House

Tonight when I talked to Jewell I had one of those ideas in my head that I don’t want to say but because I have to say all thoughts, I came out with it.  

So headstrong was I that I thought it would be a good idea that I met with Jewell at my house tomorrow.  

“Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow,” I invited Jewell.

“Hmm,” Jewell thought about it.   “I think we should wait some more.”

In the end she knew it would be too early.  Lucky I was that she had said no and it didn’t become a reality.  I say that too because looking around my room just after the phone call I realized everything that reminded me of Lyssa was still portrayed to whoever walked in.  I would have felt stupid if she came over tomorrow and they were still up.  I am that stupid.  It just never clicked to me.  Now that I know, I’ll remember to take some things down.  Now after my mind has settled down I also realize that it would have been very early.  

Playing Mind Games With Jewell

Jewell told me tonight that when I sit down to achieve something, I can really portray all the emotions of the moment through my medium of poetry.  Expressing myself through poetry is the forefront of my imagination.  I can really accentuate the reality and capture the moment, as a great artist would with abstract art.

“You should know by now that you are good at playing mind games with me,” Jewell noted.

I was surprised to learn from Jewell that all this time after we broke up I was playing mind games.

“Do you think my mind games were the same before we broke up compared to now?”

“You still play mind games no matter what,” she noted.  “Your game is to try and get around the truth of the subject, so that you can either get your way, or get an answer.”

For example all the things I said to Jewell to get her to come over to my house was mind games.  

Jewell’s thoughts changed when I said to her, “What would happen if I didn’t call until you agreed to come over?”

When I told her that, I was starting to get angry.  They were just ways around getting Jewell to come over instead of pleading.

Planning Ahead

Jewell and I stopped talking at 11:10pm as I noted before.  Now it is 1:20am.  Tonight I should get a bit of an early sleep.  So in half an hour I am getting some rest.  

In the meantime I am going to work on the computer so that I can have the CD slick printed out tomorrow.