The Verbally Abusive Argument – Mad Chaos: April 21, 1998

A Big Fight With Lyssa

Today is supposed to be a celebration for our ten months being together but that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I’ve been spending lots of days at my house, even though Lyssa’s mum is in America.  I have to say that things are getting more aggressive. 

Lyssa and I have been constantly bickering and fighting over this period of time, mostly about little things, sometimes big things.  But because she’s stubborn and I’m less apologetic, we tend to have large arguments.

Like I said, today was supposed to be a celebration but I only remembered when I was walking home in the rain from Lyssa’s house after a big fight.

I don’t like going to Parramatta anymore because I have to spend hours walking around the Mall waiting for Lyssa’s lunch breaks.  Then when they come, I’m so hungry or not talkative that we bicker and argue.  That’s what I did today.

Meet With Lyssa In Parramatta

I woke up today at my house from a seven-hour sleep.  Ralf didn’t come over.  I eventually fell asleep at 1am to wake up at 8am.  Having a quick shower and something to eat, I borrowed some money from my parents and started jogging to Campbelltown.

At Campbelltown I caught a train to Glenfield where I bought my ticket and then headed for Parramatta.  When I arrived I ran to Lyssa’s College and was 5 minutes late.  Lyssa was there for twenty minutes because she got out early.  She partly blamed me for waiting there that length of time.

Lyssa bought some hot chips for the both of us, as we sat down and ate our chips.  Both of us didn’t mention our ten months because we both must have forgotten.  We viewed the crowd as they walked past.  Then half an hour later it was time for Lyssa to head back to College.

Growing Sense Of Boredom

Having two hours to myself I checked out Print Central where I will be getting my CD covers done.  I talked to the guy whom I chatted to on the phone.  He showed me the printer and some examples.  Asking him some questions, I then headed for Westfield Shopping.

While there I basically spent my time looking at girls walk past.  I walked into HMV to listen to some CDs.  The next one I am buying. 

I was starting to get bored around this time in Parramatta. 

I realized that I was wasting my whole day doing nothing special.  I look around at shops and girls for hours on end, getting bored.  Every now and then I spend some time with Lyssa, which usually turns tragic anyway.

Lunch With Lyssa

When it was time I met Lyssa for lunch.  This time we walked to McDonald’s to order some water.  I was angry to find they charged us.  I was frustrated for the rest of the time because of that.  Lyssa got angry after comforting me, but I’m allowed to have my opinion. 

Lyssa started to annoy me by checking almost every clothes shop we walked past when she was due back at College.  Eventually, Lyssa made it to College.

The Footy Show In Parramatta

I spent the next two hours sitting on a seat on a shopping strip with a park behind it.  While there I noticed a camera crew and someone from “The Footy Show” was there, so I hung around to watch.  They were walking around asking people if they knew of any males who faked orgasms. 

They picked a couple of good-looking girls sitting a couple of spots away from me.  They kept moving the camera my way so I may be on The Footy Show this Thursday.  I’ll watch anyway. 

From there I walked to the shopping center again and looked around before meeting Lyssa to go home.

Argue Over Grocery Money

Lyssa and I were more civil at this time as we held hands.  Lyssa sat on my lap as I was crouched on the ground waiting for the train.  We jumped on.  The trip back home was fine until we were nearly home.

“Could you save ten dollars from your pay tomorrow so that you can buy food for your house?  You are your brother could use the food to survive for the next week,” I asked Lyssa.

“I will see, but I have to buy clothe this week,” Lyssa told me.

I thought that was a tad selfish because her brother couldn’t afford to buy food.  Who buys $200 worth of clothes or needs to anyway?  On top of that Lyssa told me she is going to Chevy’s this weekend and needed money for that also. 

I started to get angry because Lyssa was being stingy with buying $10 worth of food.  Instead she wants to buy clothes.  I remember that with the money that I am getting coming through, she asked me to buy her a $20 ring and a jumper, which is more clothing for her.  Out of that money also, I was buying food for Lyssa’s house.

Today I was ready to bring food from my house to Lyssa’s house to satisfy her needs, but because I traveled to Parramatta, that didn’t happen.  I couldn’t understand how someone like Lyssa could be so stuck for her money.  I then got angry because she wanted to come over my house and eat when there was no food at her house. 

“For the money you will spend on bus travel you could buy yourself a meal or food for the house,” I told her.

She got angry.  She then went off at me because she thought I didn’t want her at my house at all.  I started getting pissed off but I kept my temper settled. 

Tidying Up After Lyssa

We got to Leumeah.  As we jumped off the train I was thinking to myself to stay on the train and head home, but on the last second I jumped off.  Lyssa hadn’t noticed because she was trying to snob me and didn’t look back at all.  Instead, she walked straight into a shop to get some money out. 

Disgusted I started walking to Lyssa’s house.  I kept looking back to see if Lyssa was also on her way, but no sign.

It started to sprinkle as I came into Lyssa’s house.  I started cleaning up the mess that her and her brother had made of the house.  I began eating the leftovers because I was so hungry.  I was disgusted because the bin was more than over full. 

I emptied the bin, which took two trips.  I also fed the cat while I was there.  Because it started to sprinkle I took the washing off the line and while I was doing that I had seen Lyssa walking home.  She looked pissed off but I didn’t care.

Sitting down on the sofa I got myself a packet of chips.  With the television on I started eating and ignored her. 

Lyssa Tells Me To Go Home

Lyssa was slamming doors and slamming down food to show she was angry with me.  She then pranced into the room and yelled to me.

“I was looking around for an hour for you.  When I couldn’t find you, I ended up walking home,” she yelled. 

“I’ve only been home for twenty minutes so you could have only been looking for fifteen minutes,” I told her.

It’s dumb when someone tries to stretch the truth to get a point across. 

“Why did you walk to my house,” Lyssa then asked me.

“So I could save you travel money so that you would have more to spend on your clothes shopping for the weekend,”   I told her.

“You are not talking to me.  I am sick of this shit!  Go home,” Lyssa got really angry.

Verbally Abusive Argument Escalates

I was very tempted to leave.  I stood up to watch the rain coming down outside.  Lyssa put me down once more.  Putting my shoes on it was set in my mind that I was going home. 

Walking into the kitchen I tried to use the phone but Lyssa pulled the chord out, pulling my hair in the process and pissing me off.  I got so angry I started yelling back at her in her face, right up close.  She started being hard.

I felt in a destructive mood because she was putting me down, so I slammed the phone around and almost threw one of her pot plants.  I tried to call Imad again.  She told me she would yell loud and make a big display if I talked to him. 

Lyssa didn’t want me to use ‘her’ phone so I got angrier.  I was about to leave.  In disgust I knocked over a standing bottle of drink.  Accidentally, it hit Lyssa in the thigh and bounced onto the ground.  She thought I intentionally meant to hit her, started to cry, and then headed for her room teary.  I thought to myself I should go to her room and apologize, but first I wanted to make a phone call so I wouldn’t have to walk home in the rain.

Lyssa came back out from her room and made me hang up the phone again, so I walked out the front door.  Reaching the back veranda through the alleyway, Lyssa was waiting up there. 

“If you leave then that is it,” she started screaming at me.

I started jogging away as she screamed at the top of her lungs, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

She then slammed the door behind her so hard I thought it would shatter.  So Lyssa and I were real angry and it’s all about money.  Who do you think is being the bigger idiot?

The Police Fine Imad

I walked in the rain to the train station.  From there I caught a train to Campbelltown.  Then I called Imad charging the call to my house.  I asked him to come and pick me up and take me home.  Imad took half an hour, as I waited in the rain.

Instead of parking up the top like all people do, Imad thought he would come down the part where only buses and taxis can come at the train station.  I could smell trouble.  Imad had seen me and parked his car in the way of two buses.  I had then seen a police car behind him.  Walking past him I had told him of the cop car.  He started to take off but it was too late. 

The cops put their sirens on.  Imad was pulled over.  Twenty minutes later he picked me up and showed me his $100 fine.

I was thankful that Imad gave me a lift but told him it was a dumb thing for him to pick me up from down there.  He took me home.

“why aren’t you at Lyssa’s house,” he asked me.

I made up some story as he took me home. 

Imad was in the middle of stripping the paint off his car at his house when he picked me up.  Imad and Dina haven’t spoken to each other since their fight a couple of days ago.  Imad and Ali haven’t spoken since Saturday night because of the argument they had before the night was over.  I thought I had contributed by probably finishing my relationship with Lyssa.

Arguments Have Become Too Heated

Nope, Lyssa just called me then on the phone, only for a couple of seconds.  She asked what I was doing.  Then, because I wasn’t talking much, she thought she should go. 

I just have to say, this has been the worst so far for our relationship.  All this constant bickering at each other leads to a big argument.

What I think is heaps rude also is when Lyssa wants to do something on the weekend, I let her without any objections or anger.  But when I want to do something with my friends on the weekend or I have a difference of opinion, then Lyssa gets tense, gets angry, then she gets shitty and won’t talk to me. 

For example, when Lyssa was going out with Penelope this Saturday gone she was breaking our plans to be together with each other.  I had no problems and made plans to hang out with my friends so that I wouldn’t get bored.  When I told Lyssa I was going to the City she got angry because she would be home alone when she got back with Penelope.  She made me feel guilty all the time I was on the phone because I was going to the City with my friends.  Because I went to where I went, we had a big argument that night.  But all of a sudden, today when we were at Parramatta and we talked about strip joints, she didn’t have a problem with it.

Lyssa Speaking To Her Ex Again

Now, today Lyssa told me that Jermaine (her ex boyfriend whom she was obsessed with for three years and only got over him because she met me) had called her after a dry period of a couple of years.  For the first time in years he actually talked to her.  Lyssa didn’t hesitate to add that they talked for an hour and a half.  I didn’t have any objections or problems to that, but I knew Lyssa was only saying these things to see what reaction I would give.

All through the day she would add little things that they both talked about in their conversation and then told me that when she attends Toby’s party in two weeks, Jermaine will be there.  I didn’t have a problem with that, but what I did have a problem with was that Lyssa invited Penelope to the party with her instead of me, even though the invitation read me also. 

Lyssa is up to something.  She talks about Jermaine so sincerely to me that I think in my head, what is she up to?  So this weekend, Lyssa is going out to Chevy’s.  Next weekend Lyssa is attending Toby’s party without me.  I’m pretty sure Lyssa will call me again tonight before Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210 start (her favorite television shows). 

Before I left Lyssa’s House I wanted to say, “Life’s a bitch” (It’s on a commercial for Melrose Place) but I didn’t get a chance to.

Now I’m at home.  Tomorrow I’m visiting Newtown and then the City to view Entech.  Entech is an exhibition of all the major names in worldwide musical instruments and everything to do with the music industry.  Entry is free as long as you are there to trade, but I am going to take my camera and see if I will be allowed to enter.

I was supposed to see Lyssa in the City tomorrow but since she told me if I walk out that door it’s over, I don’t think that will be happening, at least for a while.

Phone Jewell Up

Since all that is over now, I can talk about the conversation that I had (or rather didn’t have) with Jewell last night.  When Lyssa was talking to Jermaine on the phone for her hour and a half I was talking to Jewell for about the same time.  Like usual, it was nothing at first, as we small talked.  From there it progressed into how Zola was and how she is now going out with Chisomo.

After doing my cameo attempt of Chisomo, we carried on to talk about how her major artwork project is coming along.  She told me she has scrapped the idea of what she first told me because it is portrayed through my eyes, not hers.  She told me she basically took key facts straight out of my poem and then pictured them in her head.  That’s how she came up with her original idea.  Because it was too much of a quote from me, she has moved it to a more contemporary series. 

Jewell Changes Artwork Project Concept

The artwork project is still dealt in three seasons, past, present and future, but it is in three different drawings instead of a large-scale trophy.

The past is a picture that I had sent Jewell and have kept over the year.  She is trying to capture the significance in the facial expressions of the characters and put colors in the background of the moods and seasons. 

Then, the present she has many ideas for, but because it’s always the present she can never decide.  The present to her is always changing because the future is not yet certain.  An idea she told me for that was to once again draw a picture of a person and their facial expressions and then tear the picture up and glue them on to show that her present is in pieces.

For the future, she will have another picture of a person but with happier facial expressions.  It was all new to me, but I was happy that she is still using me as an inspiration.  Little does she know how her actions inspire me to do what I’m doing.

The Midnight Phone Call Time Limit

After that she kept getting messages on her phone.  Not to be nosey I didn’t ask about it.  I feared it could be from a guy but I kept my suspicions to myself.  I shouldn’t really care anyway.  She sent a message back and later received another message.

Then came the hard knock.  She told me she would have to call this person back, so I told her I could go and call back later or some other day.  She told me that because her mum wouldn’t let her talk past midnight (because of the trouble she got into from our last conversation when her mum almost pulled the chord on the phone), she thought it would be best that I called back another day.

It seemed that she was trying to push me away in some way.  I was regretful that I felt that way but I don’t have a say in what she does.  I just do what I think I should do. 

So we made an arrangement that I would talk to her maybe on Friday.  Then I said goodbye to her.  But, since tonight I’m free, I might give her a call. 

Lyssa hasn’t called back since her last call, but I’m sure she will call before her favorite shows start.