Start A Fight Over Smoking Cigarettes – Mad Chaos: December 9, 1997

Print Résumé For Secretarial Job

I’ve come back from two days of spending time with my girlfriend at her house.  It was all good, until just now.

Starting with Monday I woke up early and walked to Campbelltown. 

Walking to the library I typed out my résumé.  Then I walked to the Post Office to post it.  The line was long.  While I was there Lyssa called me. 

From the post office I walked proud to the train station and caught the train to be with my girlfriend for the day.

Frolic For Hours With Lyssa

Arriving at Lyssa’s house there was no one there.  That was a bonus.  Walking in the door I didn’t let myself loose just yet.  I built up with conversation as we lay on the couch kissing, hugging and talking. 

After making ourselves lunch we jumped into Lyssa’s room, where I began to pleasure her in a way which I haven’t yet.  I learn something new everyday.  This went on for a couple of hours until the phone rang and she picked up to talk.  There was no problem there but what got to me was how fast she switched between moods, like what we just done in the bedroom didn’t mean that much.

There she was laughing and talking about little things for half an hour or more each conversation.  In some conversations she didn’t even noticing me until I had said something.  Apart from that, the last night was the best, except for a minor hiccup every so often. 

Lyssa invited me to stay over.  I stayed over, while her mum prepared dinner for the three of us.

Ali Pops Over Lyssa’s House

Ali came over in the meantime.  We had a conversation while I was there.  One of the things we talked about was sex.  I finally filled him in that Lyssa and I have been sexual for a while now.  He kept telling me he thought so.  Then he told me what he’s done with Penelope and how far they’ve gone. 

Ali invited me to the runs tonight if he goes.  I might take him up on that.

Late Night Conversation With Lyssa

Walking back into Lyssa’s house, we had dinner.  Then we parked ourselves in the kitchen to watch a show on television, while her mum was watching in the lounge. 

Lyssa and I walked outside to have a discussion as we read Cosmopolitan and done a test in it.  Lyssa and I talked about many things, most were sexual and some were fantasy-based, but the thing is that it was a conversation.  That’s the important thing. 

Lyssa’s mum made me sleep in the lounge room.  Lyssa lay a blanket down for me and stayed there for a while talking.  She tried to sleep in the same room but thought her mum would get angry if we were seen in the same room together, so she slept in her room.

Several Interruptions Through The Day

The morning sun rose.  Lyssa’s mum was running around for an hour getting ready at 6am in the morning.  When that was all over I walked into Lyssa’s room to lay with her.  We lay there.  I laughed as Lyssa made weird noises, screaming and singing to wake up, doing my back stretches almost into Yoga. 

Lyssa’s brother didn’t go to work today.  We were bummed about that but thought it was luck that he went out with Carleigh for most of the day.

While her brother was out, Lyssa and I mostly watched television and ate.  We were too lazed to do anything else. 

We ventured into Lyssa’s room a couple of times where we usually frolic, but whenever we developed a motion it would always get interrupted by someone.  The first time it was the phone.  A couple of friends wanted to talk to her for half an hour or more.  The next time it was Toby at the door.  Lyssa had to quickly put something on.  So did I. 

As she answered the door Toby stayed over for half an hour watching a movie with us until he had to venture to work.

The next interruption was the phone again.  Then Lyssa had a shower while I answered the phone and talked to Mallory and Nikita.  Mallory was straight off the phone while Nikita and I talked on a diverse range of topics.  Nikita is a very polite person and held a good conversation.  She’s pretty nice herself. 

Lyssa talked to them once more.

Then when we walked back in the room, Lyssa’s brother and Carleigh came home, so we had to stop all work. 

Carleigh left.  With her brother still there, we quietly worked in her room, trying not to make too much noise. 

Starting A Fight Over Smoking Cigarettes

But the phone rang once again.  This time it was Bielka.  Once again Lyssa changed so quickly out of the mood.

Bielka was coming over to collect something from Lyssa or give her something.  Then the problem started.  While we were sitting on the bed with each other Lyssa decided to ask me if she could have a smoke when Bielka gets there because she asked for a smoke, might as well have it.  I told her I was leaving in an hour and she could have it when I wasn’t around, so that it wouldn’t cause a problem between the two of us. 

Lyssa failed to reason with me.  She scooted off into the kitchen with the premise that she had to wash the dishes, which was true.  But it was just an excuse to leave me in her room and start an argument. 

There I stayed. 

Lyssa Ignores Me When Bielka Arrives

As I got up to talk to Lyssa, the doorbell rang.  I answered it.  Bielka was at the door and I let her in. 

Lyssa told me she’d be over for five minutes just to drop something off but they completely ignored me, walked into the backyard and left me in Lyssa’s room.  I didn’t want to go where they were because Lyssa and I didn’t finish a dispute and I didn’t want to walk in on her smoking or into an angry environment, so I stayed in her room.

I felt so bad and unwanted when she stayed out the back for over half an hour laughing profusely.  Starting to think she might be smoking when the conversation started slowing down and I heard someone light a smoke, I’m not sure if Lyssa had one. 

So there I was in Lyssa’s room alone and unwanted.  I couldn’t go home because I felt ashamed to get my possessions from the lounge room where Lyssa’s brother was watching television, and I didn’t want to interrupt Lyssa and probably see her smoking.

Lyssa told me that if I let her smoke she’d smoke in the car away from me and then clean her teeth and everything after that.  The point is that she made me feel as if I had to avoid her company because she was smoking. 

Why should I have to avoid my girlfriend for any reason. 

Lyssa made me feel as if I had to hide in solitude and couldn’t associate with her while she was smoking.  I made it simple for her to respect my feelings on some issues.  You can smoke even though you shouldn’t because you’re on the pill, but just not when I’m around.  When I’m at home or not with you on the day, you can do whatever you want. 

She had the nerve to tell me I don’t let her do anything and she has to do what I say.  If that’s the fact then I wouldn’t let her go out with her friends and with people I don’t really like being around her, like Emanuel, and Channing the model.  I wouldn’t let her smoke at all, but I’m not a controlling person.

All the time Lyssa was angry about me not letting her smoke I was saying let’s not fight, let’s make up before it gets worse, but she let it go on.  When Bielka left Lyssa’s house, she came and said goodbye. 

Lyssa gave out a laugh (tisked) as if to say, “Why even say goodbye to him?  He’s scum.”

Lyssa Continues To Hold A Grudge

I was expecting for Lyssa to come into the room and comfort me, at least tell me she didn’t have a smoke or to tell me what her and Bielka talked about for so long.  But Lyssa walked right past the room and then carried on with the dishes.

By now I’d twisted broken her comb and a clothes hanger because I was so pissed off.  Placing my shoes on my feet, I asked her to get my personal things from where her brother was sitting.  I told her the problem and how she avoided me for the whole time Bielka was there. 

Lyssa told me, “Well you avoid me when Ali comes over.”  

That’s supposed to make it all better for her, to make her even with me.  Because I do something wrong (or she thinks I do that) it means it’s alright for her to do it to me.

So all those things just pissed me off so much I told Lyssa I want to go home. 

Lyssa told me, “Off you go.”

I was so pissed off that she didn’t want to sort out a stupid problem that I left, and started walking home. 

Leaving Lyssa’s House Upset

When I reached the train station I called her up from a payphone and asked her if she enjoyed her smoke.  Lyssa told me she hadn’t smoked it yet.  Then I said goodbye because my train was coming and I was pissed off.  She didn’t care.

From what I figure, if Lyssa had to have a smoke so much and couldn’t wait not even an hour for me to leave, then why didn’t she have the smoke after I left?  She was hanging for a smoke wasn’t she?  I figure she might have had a smoke while Bielka was over.  That’s why the conversation died down, or maybe she just had a fight because she knew I’d get upset.  Then when I left for home upset, she’d have her precious smoke and I wouldn’t be there to be upset.  That would explain why she ignored me right from the start when Bielka came over and didn’t care when I left. 

Now I’m home and Lyssa still hasn’t called to say anything.  I know I’m not calling her because I didn’t start the argument.  She did.  She walked off heated when I told her my opinions and she’s the one who brought up her habit.  She’s the one that then ignored me for the rest of the time I was over her house, and she’s the one who doesn’t care to sort this out in a hurry.  So let her be stubborn over her problem.

Beatrice Gives Me A Lift Home

While I was walking home Beatrice and her mum decided to give me a lift close to my house.  Beatrice is also a sweet-hearted person.  When she said her mum was driving I though it was her sister or something.  Beatrice was coming from work.  She didn’t even have to stop for me let alone do anything, but she did.  She gave me a lift home gave me conversation and I thanked her and her mum for their hospitality. 

So these last two days were brilliant except for the encounter I had at the end of the day.

Lyssa will call tonight.  She won’t leave it that long.  If the mood is right then we’ll sort it out tonight.  These little simple arguments are starting to faze me.  I don’t know how much more I should take.  Lyssa should respect my dislike of people smoking around me as I respect her fear of driving in the wet and her fear of spiders. 

If we don’t communicate on the same level then nothing will be resolved and nothing will eventuate.  I might not be the driver of the car but I do care for her feelings and because of that tell the person to slow down or make them aware of the problem without hurting Lyssa.

Preparing For The Runs

On different terms now if Ali comes over my house then I’ll be going to the runs with him tonight, if he feels like it. 

The person that I sent my résumé to hasn’t called me back as yet but come Thursday I’ll call her in case I haven’t received any information to the position. 

Wondering Whether Jewell Received My Letter

Also since I sent the letter to Jewell on Thursday it definitely should have arrived by at least Monday.  I’m wondering if she thought it was me who sent the letter.  I’ve been meaning to give her a call lately.  It’s been a while since I’ve called to say hello. 

I want to call Jewell tonight but it might look like I’m turning to her when the real reason is that I haven’t talked for a long time and to see if she thought the letter was from me.  I don’t want to get her thinking it was me, so I won’t tell Jewell it was me.  I’ll deny it and see who she thinks it might be.