Lyssa Brings Up Jewell In Conversation – October 26, 1997

Lyssa With Penelope At My House

It’s been another one of those long, hot, relaxing days.  The day in Campbelltown was over 30 degrees.  Lyssa, Penelope and I chilled at my house for a while.  They were eager to play Monopoly.  I was exhausted from the hot air, so we sat talking for a while.  

Ali came over.  Penelope sat outside talking to him for over two hours, while Lyssa and I talked inside.  

Ali Blows His Celica’s Engine

Finding out that Ali has blown his new engine… already, he must be pissed off.  I’d hate to say it now but I knew that if he didn’t take it easy he’d fuck up somehow.  Now he’s paying, sadly.  

There were a lot of times he flew to Wollongong, and on the way back home he almost hit a pole.  As for him painting his Celica on Monday, that’s fucked.

Mysterious Tensions With Lyssa

Meanwhile, Lyssa and I were getting frustrated inside.  I’m not sure why but we were just getting on each other’s nerves.  Lyssa’s nearing the end of her menstrual cycle.  That might be part of it.  I’m not sure.  

Things were real tense today though, whatever I said she would dislike, whatever I mentioned we would argue upon.  

There were good times also.  When I played some music, we got in the mood and got onto each other, after Ali and Penelope left for home of course.

Imad came over with his Celica while Lyssa was here.  That made her more pissed off to see me talk to Imad and leave her in the room.  

Let’s get one thing clear.  Never tell a girl that she’s fat, even if you are being the uttermost sarcastic that you can be.  

Don’t even joke about weight when girls are near.  You’ll get devoured.

Taking Our Relationship For Granted

I’ve been thinking that lately, it hasn’t been all roses and fairy-tales with Lyssa.  The moments of passion are always with intimacy in the bedroom.  We don’t really talk on the phone anymore for hours on end.  I’m not even certain of the last time we held a decent conversation about her and I, even off the phone.  

We’ve come to a point where we take lovemaking for granted, and when all else fails, that is the only option.  I guess that’s what happens when the Honeymoon stage is over and you get accustomed to who you are with.  Me myself have never really been there before.  I haven’t been with someone long enough to experience that.

Thinking Of Jewell

Today I started thinking again of Jewell, how I haven’t called her for so long and probably won’t for even longer.  While with Lyssa, sitting there holding her, I remembered what it was with Jewell, how I also treated her, and all the things I’d done to make her happy in that short time.  

Starting in my mind to picture what I had with Jewell.  Let’s just call it reminiscing about what I had, because let’s face it, I had something special for a little while.  

Then it just faded, like the sunlight fades from the skies when the moon appears.

The Gift I Gave Jewell

Mostly I was remembering the CD I sent to Jewell.  It was something special and deep from my heart, and even though I’ve sent many things to many other people, that gift was special for me to give.  

Lyssa has received my heart also.  These two girls are the first to receive from me, and I do feel that giving is better than receiving.  When I see what my Poems or my Roses do for the people I give them to it just brightens me up, inspires me.

Lyssa Brings Up Topic Of Jewell

Just getting off the phone with Lyssa, we talked about Ali and Penelope and how far they’ve gone.  She told me that he’s used his hand and she’s used her mouth.  That sounds about right.  People know that Lyssa is on the pill.  Now I’m going to get looked at differently from her friends.  

Speaking of Jewell just now I feel rude that Lyssa had to bring her up in conversation.  She told me the only thing she didn’t like in my Diary was that I talked about Jewell a lot.  In June, when I couldn’t get in contact with Lyssa I’d call Jewell and Lyssa felt bad about that.  I’m not like that anymore.  I just needed to get over Jewell back then and get into another relationship.  

I guess that’s the way I dealt with my problem of giving up something good, but now I’ve got something good once again.  Once again I can pass my love the way that makes me feel inspired and makes my life brighter and realistic.  

Lyssa Prepared For HSC Exam

Lyssa has her HSC exams tomorrow.  Good luck for her.  

As for me it’s time to sleep so I can have a good day’s work.  Work again for Martinson Engineering tomorrow.  I’m beginning to dread Mondays, and I just want a casual job.  

I’m lucky to have someone like Lyssa, someone who understands me.  

I’m getting tired, sleepy, tired, sleepy, tired, sleepy, tired.