The Breakdown Of The Group
Complementing the month with thoughts, I have another thought to add.
Thinking of the line of friendships, I feel that the group is breaking down. The breakdown has already been in progress, it is bound to happen, nothing can last forever.
The group has fallen to a selective few. No more are there lots of faces in lots of places. Now it’s only Ali, Shawn, Imad and I. People have found other ways to have fun, other people to have fun with, and people have to move on. Luckily, I always have someone to go to regardless of how much friends I have. That’s Lyssa.
Days are getting better and feelings are getting bigger between me and Lyssa, although we’ve had our shaky times, like last night. I was fooled to consider a lie that should not have been told.
Preparing Lyssa’s Birthday Presents
Yesterday I woke up and got a lift to Campbelltown where I purchased flowers for Lyssa, eighteen flowers like the poem is written. They are to be sent on Monday, eighteen separate roses and one letter. Lyssa will love it.
Walking back home, I sat there and rang Lyssa. We talked on the phone. I did not give a clue away of what was to happen.
Lyssa keeps telling me she would love to get a rose or something sweet from me. I make it out as if I’m not even thinking about her birthday. She will be surprised.
Weekend With The Boys
Saturday night Ali came over. We picked up Imad and Shawn and then we traveled to Campbelltown. All the boys were somewhere else, and there was only Ali’s car.
Imad decided to go home. I tried ringing Keith to see if he would like to come out.
This is where I got very pissed off, so pissed off I can’t remember the last time it happened this bad.
Tamsen Claims Lyssa Is Cheating
While I was still at home waiting for Ali to come over, Keith rang me up and Tamsen talked. She told me that Lyssa and her friends were at the same place she was.
Tamsen then started telling me that Lyssa was taking her top off and dancing on the tables.
What really made me fume was that she told me that Lyssa was getting onto some guy. That broke me.
I asked Tamsen if she was telling the truth. It was hard to hear her from the background music, but she stuck with her story. Tamsen hung up. Then Keith and Tamsen diverted their phones to Keith’s answering machine. I was furious and didn’t know what to think.
Paranoid At Pizza Hut
I called Ali to come over and then left the house. Starting to walk to Imad’s house, I turned back to meet Ali on the corner of my street. He saw that something was wrong. I didn’t talk at all.
All that night I was quiet, as we met Keith, Tamsen and Min-Su at Pizza Hut after their function. Looking into their faces they couldn’t help but to each have a smirk on their faces.
Five minutes later the girls came down and Lyssa was drunk as.
Not believing Tamsen’s story without evidence from the other side I talked to Lyssa and all the girls. Finding it hard to look into Lyssa’s eyes I found it hard also when I did look and she’d look pissed off at me, like she was ready to leave me.
Giving Tamsen Death Stares
The girls left for Randy Ranch. I was concerned for myself. Pulling Min-Su to one side, the only one I could truly trust with the truth, I asked if Lyssa done something wrong. Min-Su told me she didn’t, and I believed that.
Sitting back on Ali’s car facing the bitch Tamsen, Keith and everyone else, I didn’t move and kept staring at all three of them without looking away. Min-Su looked very depressed and concerned. Tamsen and Keith had smirks on their faces and couldn’t give a shit.
Right then I felt so angry.
I was just about to get out Ali’s bat and start smashing into Keith’s car and then into him and his girlfriend until someone stopped me.
They left. I thought about Lyssa for the rest of the night. I was concerned.
Shawn, Ali and I looked around to siphon petrol but had no luck with anything that night.
Dropping Shawn off early in the night, we sat at the back of Pizza Hut and waited for an hour and a half listening to the police scanner and almost falling asleep waiting for the girls.
A Confrontation Outside Randy Ranch
Randy Ranch was finishing up. We drove up to the girls. They told us the car was at Pizza Hut near our car, so we started driving back.
On the way there some guy threw some shit from a tree at Ali’s car because he thought we were threatening our chicks, which he didn’t know.
Ali stopped the car. We both got out to see what his problem was. Getting back in the car we chased him down the street and stopped right near him. I stepped out and was right in his face. He was about 22 and a big muscly fella that trains at Olympus Gym. He knew me, so we said bye bye and then left to meet the girls at the car. They witnessed the whole ordeal.
Ali and Penelope got into his car. I got in with Bielka and Lyssa in Bielka’s car. One of the guys friends who was bigger than the other walked up to Ali’s car picking a fight. His friend, the guy I know from Olympus Gym came up to me and apologized for his friend. I saw him at Ali’s car and ran up there.
Not taking no shit I entered myself in conversation, but his friend calmed the whole ordeal down. I wasn’t afraid. I was ready for him.
Lyssa and I sat in the back of Bielka’s car the rest of the night talking with each other and Bielka. The reaction from Lyssa assured me nothing was wrong, as I lay on her and she stroked my hair, making me feel needed.
That night ended at 5am.
Planning To See Lyssa
I slept until 1pm today.
Calling up Lyssa we planned to get together and I would get her a lift. Ali helped me out, as we picked up Imad and then drove to Lyssa’s house. Taking a picture of the boys at her house, we left for Leumeah Station.
Talking to Imad all the way to Ingleburn train station, we said bye bye.
East Hills River Romance With Lyssa
Lyssa and I then traveled to East Hills where Imad recommended for me to go.
East Hills was beautiful. We sat right next to the river with each other, taking a picture, talking, eating and holding each other close.
The sun started going down, as we spent a couple of hours with each other holding each other’s thoughts in our hands.
Just before we were about to leave for home, it was getting dark. Lyssa was very giving. Lyssa and I started kissing. One thing led to another, as the sky started to disappear into darkness, making the moment the more special.
Lyssa and I got very close tonight, as we pleased each other with what we were doing. Tonight was beautiful and serene for the both of us. She made me feel so comfortable and happy. She needs something special from me apart from a hug and kiss. She needs my present, and she will receive. She will receive tomorrow.
Ali Stays Over For A While
Ali saw me walking home after I saw Lyssa off. We drove to my house. He stayed over for a while.
It’s definitely time to sleep for tomorrow morning at work. I hope I go good, but I’m not really worried about the outcome. I have faith.
It’s only a job to me, it’s only money, I can do better.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
