Successful Women In Australia
In Sydney, Australia, on a drive with a friend, as we stopped at a set of red lights, I was able to come face-to-face with a cultural difference between Chinese and Western women, in terms of success.
We saw a girl in a Subaru next to us at the set of lights.
She looked like a Persian woman, beautiful eyes, beautiful skin, immaculate, big lips, and her makeup was flawlessly applied. She was talking on her mobile phone.
I said, “Look at her man. That is so good! She is like a model.”
She was absolutely stunning.
That is the kind of woman you never get in China.
What Constitutes Success In Australia
Australia is full of successful women like her.
Successful Australian women all have their own jobs, their own money, they are driving their own cars, and they have husbands or boyfriends as well.
You can be successful and hot in Australia at the same time.
Women keep their good looks for such a long time in Australia.
A Man’s Wealth And Status In China
As the lights turned green and we drove off, I remembered a conversation about success I had with a female friend in China, and how much success in China starkly differs to the successful woman who drove off in her Subaru in Australia.
Once, I joked to a friend in China with a poor financial situation, “You should get yourself a really rich husband.”
She showed me a video of an event she attended. “This guy in Zhanjiang (湛江) is a multi-millionaire. My boss told me I should make friends with him.”
She showed me how she made 0.60 RMB in her WeChat Red Envelopes (红包) today, saying, “Look how much money he sent me.”
As I looked at her, I knew my WeChat Wallet had 1,000 RMB inside, and she was still getting happy about 0.60 RMB.
In China, it is culturally acceptable and even sought after for a woman to marry into a richer family. The richer the man, the better a catch he is.
In modern Chinese society, it is still normal for a woman to be arranged into a marriage by her family. Looks are far less important in Chinese society than wealth and status.
I did not comment on the Red Envelope (红包), but it showed how complacent that poorer Chinese women can be in this traditional Chinese culture waiting for someone to introduce a man to rescue them.
Australian Women Are Equals
This Chinese friend – in her pursuit to learn more about Western culture – also asked, “In Western society, do the girls sit at home while the guy works?”
I said, “No, actually, women and men in Australia are equals (我们是平等).”
I told her, “My mom and my dad both worked to save up for a house together, and now they have two houses.”
“But sometimes in Australia, you have the man who wants to take care of the woman. Then he works, as the wife sits at home, relaxes, and does the housework. We have those relationships too.”
To a Chinese person, in terms of financial planning, it is a strange concept for a woman to be an equal partner in a relationship.
Men and women have different roles in married Chinese society. Women take care of the children while the man becomes the traditional breadwinner and supports the family.
Unrealistic Expectations In China
In traditional China, expectations associated with marriage can create a lot of losers. A common requirement is for a man to first have a house, a good job or a business, and a car, before he can be considered suitable to marry.
My friend went on to explain, “I really can’t settle down because I want to have a house, and I want to buy a car.”
I looked curiously at her when she mentioned such outdated traditional ideology, balking, “Buy a car? What do you need a car for in China?”
This was coming from a poor country girl with a below-standard job in a major city in China, where she still had to live in a work dormitory alongside other country girls who came to the big city to make a living.
Her hopes were pinned on a man.
She smiled, “Alright, maybe not buy a car, but I can buy a scooter and drive around.”
Meanwhile, back in Australia, the self-made successful woman in the Subaru had no such qualms. She was not waiting for a man for her salvation.
The author of Diary Of A Mad Chaos from 1996 to 2018, The Lost Years book, Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘) book series, and Foreigner (华人) an exploration of race relations in Australia. Fluent in Chinese Mandarin, Macedonian, and English, the author currently resides in China, Guangzhou where he continues to make comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies.