Mad Chaos: Sunday, August 4, 1996

Diary Of A Mad Chaos

My Future Dreams

I’ve always had dreams.  This is the first time I’ve actually thought about them and how far I want to succeed in life.

I’ve always wanted to be a musician and play beautiful silhouettes of classical music that sound just that much beautiful to the ear.

I have wanted to succeed in bodybuilding and make it a career for me and make myself beautiful in all ways.

I’ve wanted lately to become the best cyclist in the world and hopefully be in the year 2000 Olympics, the dawning of the new Millennium.

I’ve always wanted to have a job and a career behind the desk with my own computer.

Dream Of Having Children



I want a house, a car, a wife, a beautiful world to live in, and to bring up the most important thing of my life, which will dawn in the new millennium, children.

  • Musician
  • Bodybuilder
  • Cyclist In Olympics
  • Office Career
  • House
  • Car
  • Wife
  • Kids

To me, a child will be the greatest dream, my fullest triumph.

There is so much I want to be yet, so much unaccounted for.  This leads me to believe that in time, I will have the things that I want, and I will be the person I want to be.

I know that I think that now and I only hope that I will think that for years to come, for the rest of my life.

Waking Up Feeling Lonely

Today I got up at 11:00 am. Like usual, I stayed asleep for a while before I woke up.

I felt empty today and something was definitely lacking.  After yesterday and what was accompanied with the day, I felt like an outsider in my own little world.  I felt alone.

Bike Ride

exerciseI went for my bike ride today but I knew that it would be a painful one because it was very windy.

I rode 40 Km today but that was on and off.

Visit Imad

I rode to Imad’s house today via Leumeah and Minto.  I stayed there for a while, had something to eat, drink and we watched a little TV with him, Dina and his mum.

He told me something today that didn’t trouble me the least.  It wasn’t that I didn’t care – I care a lot for what happens to Imad and Dina.  There is no easy way to say it but her father raped her.  This is only a suspicion that Imad has but he really believes it is true by putting the facts together.

Hang Out With Jett

I left a little while after that.  I was supposed to meet Jett at Denim’s house but he was at his house with Denim.  I went home instead.

Jett called me up later from Bradbury shops, so I told him to come up, and he did.

I got my CDs back and we listened to some music and talked.

Discussing Moving Out With Jett

I talked about moving out.  It seems he wants to move out too.  The thing is, I want to move out definitely by the start of next year (Shortly after Kathryn leaves), but I also want to have a job before I move on.

This is because with a job it will be very hard to live in a house for rent and buying food, paying bills and saving money.  It will be much harder with no job at all.  Maybe it would be easier with 3 people but 3 is a crowd.

I can see me moving out but right now I have way too much things on my mind and I can’t think properly.

Denim was up here too.  He is going to ask a girl out to the movies this week.

They both left shortly after that.

Visit Pizza Hut

I went venturing down to Campbelltown to check out what was happening.

It was dark around 7:00 pm when I went to the back of Pizza Hut.  I saw Simon first.  Then I stayed out for a while.  A little later I saw Carey with Rory.

Visit Binh’s Shop

I went for a ride to Bình’s shop and saw Noah and Chí.  We had idle conversation and Noah could possibly be over with his Asian woman.  That’s what it sounded like over the phone.  He was talking to Keith and I talked to him for a bit and then left.

As I was heading home going through the intersection next to Pizza Hut, Rory beeped the car and I was off.  I got home and just tried to relax but relaxing came hard.

Census Night

I want to do so many things tonight but 2 hours is so little time.  I want to play the Piano and that’s the thing I might do.

I have to fill out the census.



Author: 钨宝

The author of Diary Of A Mad Chaos from 1996 to 2018, The Lost Years book, Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘) book series, and Foreigner (华人) an exploration of race relations in Australia. Fluent in Chinese Mandarin, Macedonian, and English, the author currently resides in China, Guangzhou where he continues to make comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies.

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