Just as I was writing that last entry Imad came over to my house. This was due to me calling him after Jett left. Imad told me he was with the Redhead because her car broke down. Being the Good Samaritan he is, he helped her out. Because he was in Campbelltown, he thought he might come over later. Well that did happen of course. That’s why I stopped my last entry.
Imad Joins In On Phone Pranks
While Imad was over my house I showed him all the people Jett and I pranked a couple of hours ago. Imad was in stitches laughing at some of the Lebanese people we called up.
Hearing the recording we played of Trysta, we called her up. Her answering machine came on as we played it back to her and then imitated her irritating laugh.
Having some fun with that, we then called one of Imad’s friends at Mobil in Ingleburn. Playing some of these back to Imad’s friend he had his laugh.
Trysta Dirty Talks With Imad
Imad then decided to call Trysta’s house at 12:30am in the morning. Trysta was in bed asleep. She had a sore tooth and a runny nose. Hooking her up on the microphone and recording ten minutes of the conversation, we heard it all.
Trysta is dumb I must admit, as you will hear from my solo conversation with her while Imad was in the bathroom tonight. Trysta badmouthed one of Imad’s friends over the phone. That was incriminating enough against her, but through the heat of the conversation (where I told Imad to say stuff to her) she said, “Imad I want you to come over and fuck me,” placed in one sentence.
Trysta is so dumb that she couldn’t work out we were taping her or if we were even over my house. Not only did she have a bad toothache but she sounded like she was drunk over the phone. Trysta has avoided meeting Imad for over six months now (not to mention Imad’s friends). If you ask me, she’s playing all of them.
Trysta sounds like a slut over the phone but she sounds like a good looking one, she’s dumb. Trysta was asking Imad if he knew of a good dentist. I kept signaling to Imad to make her speak sexually.
For example she said, “My wisdom teeth are sore.”
After my hints, Imad said, “Do your tits hurt?”
Then signaling to him once again he said, “Put some gel on the hole. Stick your fingers right up there.”
Trysta is so dumb that she has been chewing Panadol to get rid of the pain. Trysta finally caught on despite how stupid she sounds.
That’s where she said, “Kiss me down there, kiss me down there, suck it.”
This girl is obviously sexually deprived or ugly. That would explain the reason why she hasn’t met with Imad yet. She’s butt ugly. After that, he just blabbered on with her. The conversation was so long that it took more than one hundred megabytes of space on the computer and it took almost ten minutes in time.
Pretending To Be Imad
When the conversation was over we called one of Imad’s friend and played the conversation to him, the part that disses him. Imad walked into the bathroom to do his deed. He told me if anyone calls to answer the phone.
Imad thought it might be Nikita calling. But while he was in the toilet the phone did ring.
Trysta was calling back.
Her first words were, “Come over Imad. Come help me.”
Taking on the role of Imad, I tried putting on a voice. I only said two words or less in every sentence.
Trysta was going along with it for a while.
Then she would say, “Is this Imad?”
When I said yes she would say, “Oh.”.
Later in the conversation I felt sorry for her stupidity so I gave myself up as Andrew. Trysta then kept asking for Imad.
I kept saying, “He’s not around and he doesn’t want to come over.”
“Put Imad on, please,” Trysta pleaded.
She didn’t care if she sounded like a tramp.
Because she wanted Imad to come over I asked for her address.
She was quick to say, “I’m not giving my address to you. I don’t know you.”
“But you don’t even know Imad,” I chopped her hard.
“Who are you anyway,” she asked down in the conversation.
I said, “I am Imad’s fiancée.”
Thinking she would take that as a joke because I am a man, I was surprised to find she didn’t talk after that.
Going along with my joke I then said, “Didn’t you know Imad was gay,” in a way that would be convincing.
“Imad is my fiancée. Why are you calling him,” I finished off my assault.
That’s when she got scared and hung up the phone.
All I can say is she is a blonde or a premature virgin (meaning her brain hasn’t even been born yet because neither has she).
Fill Imad In On The Carnage
Imad came out of the bathroom when the conversation was finished. Having a big grin on my face, Imad knew I had done something hilarious. Imad questioned me. So I sat down on the bed and explained my story step by step. Imad laughed when I told him about the gay part.
Like I thought he would, he called Trysta back. Trysta was on the phone to some other guy Imad knows (this is a real slut and because she hasn’t seen any of these guys, she might as well be a $5 a minute number). Trysta was asking this guy if he knew Imad was gay. So this girl really has crackers for brains. Imad was persistent with my story to her. Then it was time for him to leave.
Imad had to meet up with Nika (the one that is moving to Greece in a couple of weeks) in an hour. Imad left the keys in his car, so we had to break into his car, which only took a kick to the door.
“I have to move out soon,” Imad told me. “When I buy my own house you have to help me build an army pit.”
“What do you mean? I don’t get ya,” I did not understand him at first.
“I am going to build pits and reefs of dirt in my house. That will be the floor of my house. You have to help me build it,” he explained.
Like we used to play with little army men on a canvas, he wants to encapsulate that idea on the floor of his house. So one whole room will be a playing field.
Imad has to move out of house soon. I’m not sure if he’ll be able to survive on renting a home. Imad told me he’s buying a house, but I doubt he will be allowed to have a loan.
Tonight has been a full enough night with Jett coming over for a couple of hours and then Imad rocking up near midnight. So it didn’t turn out that bad after all. I don’t think Saturday will be bad at all since Jett is coming over. Well he has to come over. He left his wallet here. I reminded him as I called him up just after he left.
Johnny From America Prank Calls
We called ‘Dabbagh’ tonight. Using the Johnny story once again, they started swearing at us and passing us around the family. Looking through the phone book, we called a family called ‘Al Nakeeb’ which was also Lebanese. We started boasting our story to them, he wasn’t too happy with our language.
Jett and I are a crack up when we combine over the phone. When we asked to stay at this man’s house because we were straight out of America, he couldn’t accept.
Calling another family with the last name ‘Cribb’ we started acting like African Americans saying “Hey what’s up? Kicking it in the Crib, yo dig, yo cool.”
Meanwhile the guy was saying, “Who is this?”
We would keep mentioning his last name as if it was a house.
Recording New Prank Calls
Another crack up was a family called ‘Cusbert’. Our first words were “Hey what’s up Cuz, Bert, hello Cuz, got a meat pie” acting like Aboriginals.
We even commented, “Have you got a dollar bruz? I wanna speak to Cuz Bert, no Bert, Cuz.”
That was also a crack up, as we got to use our Aboriginal voices.
Finding a Latino name in the white pages we used our Spanish voices and said, “Hey Lebato. Hey puto! These are gang colors you loco.”
The lady kept saying things like, “God. You got to do better than that.”
So we kept trying to speak Spanish and kept telling her to fuck herself. Using as much Spanish vocabulary as we could ponder from ‘Cheech and Chong’ movies we started singing to her like two drunkards until she hung up the phone.
Trying to find a Lebanese name in the white pages, we called a family with an obvious cultural name ‘Mohammed’. Once again we went wild with swear words. The funny thing about this conversation was that they talked to us in Lebanese and we responded. When the husband came on the phone and Jett was finished with his ‘Beavis and Butthead’ impersonation, we started taking the mickey out of the father.
Being Johnny from America we started to speak in Lebanese. Then the father would start mocking our conversation after he realized we were just mucking around. He started speaking in Chinese. It’s heaps funny to hear an old Lebanese man impersonating an Asian. They kept trying to hang up the phone. But because we called them, they had to bear us until we hung up.
Making Scarier Prank Calls
There was an idea in my head about using the scary bits from the movie ‘Scream’. Calling a lady, the only words she spoke before being shit scared was, “Hello.”
From there I said, “Hi. You wanna play a game? Where am I, at the door or the window?”
Listening only to silence for a while, I started laughing sinisterly.
Then I belched out really loudly, “Where am I?”
Then I asked her, “Am I in your house yet, or still outside?”
Still no response. You could tell she was still there because you could hear the radio softly in the background. Because she was scared, we hung up the phone. But if she was still there, she would have heard us laughing as we hung up.
Calling a family with the last name ‘Woodcock’ we just had to make fun of that one. Alas, the answering machine came on so we thought we should have fun anyway, leaving an insightful message.
Winding Down From A Big Day
Now that everyone is out of my house I have nothing more to write.
Tomorrow I will be with Jett in the afternoon as soon as I wake up. Then I will call Lyssa.
I might call Jewell also, but since I have been persistent with my telephone calls I might leave her alone for tomorrow. Let her think about what day she wants to come over to my house.
I’m still surprised that she chose to come to my house as her first choice. When a girl wants that and feels comfortable with that choice, you know there’s something fishy going on. Regardless, I’m not going to comment about that tonight.
Rather, it’s time for me to jump off the computer now and play some games before heading off to sleep tonight.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
