Lyssa Takes A Break From Life – Mad Chaos: July 8, 1998

A Third Eye To Judge

Back to my normal story of today, I returned from ‘Fusion Factory’ and took a bus to Bradbury.  Stepping off the bus at the front of Bradbury shops I walked to Video Ezy.  Still having not eaten for the whole day, I walked inside to try and find ‘Last of the Mohicans’ and a computer game for the week since it would become a bore.  

With Lyssa now gone, who will come over my house to keep me company?  

From where will my pleasure be derived?  

There is no hope for justice, and in my life there is no chance for reprisal or fair gain.  

What I need is a third eye to judge the bearer of all faults.  Who is more at fault for all of this perilous sneaking around and cheating, the tampering of my feelings and the twisting of fate?

Whoever is reading this and has no direct significance with the storyline, please comment and drop me a note.  Come on man!  We deserve to know the truth.

Charlie Chan is a good man.  Might be true.  The reason I wrote that has no significance to my Diary, it just rhymes, so let’s just forget about that incident and carry on now.  

Playing ‘Riven – The Sequel To Myst’ On PC

Walking back home I learnt that no one had called me for the day.  So I began eating first.  Then I tried installing the computer game I rented ‘Riven’ the sequel to ‘Myst’.  There I was installing the game.  I should have known, with a fault in the installation, there was something fishy about this game that required six CDs to play it.  Bypassing the problem, I loaded the game with no real introduction to the book’s game play or type of game in the book.

The game ‘Riven’ sucked.  Watching the introduction with real life characters and dumb ass acting, the intro was uninteresting and dull, pointless if you want to be nice.  

Once out of my little jail cell, there I was free to explore.  The game was boring.  Instead of freedom to move around, you had to click a couple of steps in front of you and then another picture would appear, making you believe you have stepped closer.  This is the whole game, no real animation, just jerky moves like this.  Not even in true ‘Monkey Island Spirit’, the only decent part of this game was the graphics.

Ralf’s New Song Idea

Uninstalling the game, I packed the bag and was ready to take it back to ‘Video Ezy’ when my phone rang.  Unluckily for me, Ralf was on the line.  He had a new idea for a song, how ingenious.  

Bungling as he usually is, there I sat for two hours listening to this baboon babbling on with insipid remarks about the weekend.  Raving on for a length of time, I had to break into conversation to finally get off the phone.  Upsettingly, I had to lie about being with Lyssa tonight, as Ralf wanted to come over.  It was a good ploy to keep Ralf away until the weekend but it was tasteless, yet, the only thing I could think of.

Lyssa Phones Up

Surprised that I wasn’t interrupted by call waiting, I called Lyssa, only to find she was having a shower.  Having a shower after work, this was weird.  Then finding out she was in the shower for an hour, I knew that the lukewarm water was her wake up call to the real world, her escape from reality, the soothing serenity of silence, only interrupted by a waterfall of emotion.  

Just about to head for the shops to return the computer game ‘Riven’, Lyssa gave me a call.  Thinking I wasn’t going to call, we talked for fifteen minutes, about her day.  Lyssa had to travel to Campbelltown with her mum to take some money out for work tomorrow, so I asked her to call back if she felt like talking.

Rent A New Computer Game

Then it was time for me to return the computer game.  Walking to Bradbury shops, I picked out another computer game, which caught my fancy.  Then I headed back home to await Lyssa’s call.  

In the meantime I tried loading the game on the computer and found it wasn’t a game.  It was just an add-on pack.  Who in the hell would rent out an add on pack?  How stupid.  

Imad Hanging For A Root

Calling Imad, I found that he hadn’t had a root for a couple of days.  Redhead mustn’t be that proud of his abilities.  Imad was out on the prowl on a goose chase you might say.  You see, there was a girl calling for some guy at Mobil one day.  Being the pillager he is, he got her number.  Well, he was near this girl’s house waiting for her to arrive or something, hanging for a root.  Leaving him on that note, I awaited Lyssa’s call.

Lyssa Plans To Take A Holiday

Five minutes later at 9pm, Lyssa did call back.  lying on my waterbed, we did talk for half an hour until it was time for Lyssa to sleep.  

Lyssa and I were somewhat submissive talking with each other.  Humble as we were, no real emotion was within our voices that were now taken away.  Lyssa told me once again that she will be taking a long-needed holiday from work.  Once again her place of interest was her dad’s house, where she could sit by that lake and think.  

When Lyssa is gone, that’s it.  No more calling every day.  I know I have to stop it.  Heck, I know we both have to stop calling each other, but right now I can’t help myself.  I can’t allow Lyssa to slip away.  That would be a great loss.  

Even if Lyssa marries and moves to America, it would be good to know that I can call upon her, say hello and be the best friend she ever had.  

For we all know, without friends this world will be empty, this world will be lonely, and this world will be damned.  

Lyssa and I said goodnight to each other, listening upon the last breaths that we sustained over the phone to each other.  Letting go, the phone was beeping.  That was when I hung up the receiver.

Relating To The Dedications CD Songs

Now listening to the burnt CD, some things have come to mind.  One being the malevolent triangle and another being the fact that most of the songs have now significance to Lyssa and I.  Not the songs of passion (the first four songs) but all after that.  In retrospect, these songs were meant for Jewell for all the right reasons back then, but songs like ‘Slip Away’, ‘Leavin’ and in some reasoning ‘If I Knew Then (What I Know Now)’.  Because as much as I don’t want to think about it, it’s all my fault that our love is through, and I did lose Lyssa.  

As the words state, “Love ran in front of me and begged me to stay but I pushed love aside, a mistake I realize, I lost the love of my life.”  None of the other songs really strike a potent chord in my adventures with Lyssa, but my reasons to push love aside and my pleas for Lyssa not to take it personal create a remarkable insight into the destructive triangle and within the CD.

Imad Plans His Hook Ups

Just before I called Imad with an update on the situation.  It seems he didn’t meet up with that chick he never laid eyes on.  But he’s trying to meet with a 20 year old chick he likes called Nika who (as he noted) is chubby but has large boobs (as most copious women tend to uphold) and a good looking face.  At one time she talked with Imad for four hours at Mobil.  This is his chance.  Imad will probably come to see me tomorrow.

Emotions are considerably yielding as days erode into the next.  Rocks may fall, sand may scatter, streams of water may ripple, days may pass and all will be lost from memory, all except my torturous memories, those I have to live with.  As yielding as the day is to my emotions, as blanched as my emotions, so to is the paleness of this ending.