Getting Resentful Of Penelope’s Vanity – Mad Chaos: October 23, 1997

I’ve had not but a full sleep last night and I’m not tired, not really anyway.  

Yesterday had high expectations on my behalf.  It wasn’t all sunshine.  

Frustrated That Lyssa Is Late

After work yesterday, I called Lyssa to meet her in Campbelltown so we could catch a bus to my house.  Lyssa’s mum was to pick her up that night.  

Ringing just a few minutes before the bus came she told me she would hurry.  

Half an hour and a lot of frustration later I was about to walk to Pizza Hut.  I was worried for her.  

Just as I was walking away, Lyssa came around the corner with Penelope in her car.  They could see I was frustrated, but I tried not to show it.  

In the car Lyssa told me how the traffic was packed and it was hard enough to get out of Leumeah.  Believing that, Penelope dropped Lyssa and I off at my house.

The Boys Run Amok At My House

Shawn called up.  He wanted to come over, but I postponed until later.  Trying to install my modem, I found after half an hour of frustration I turned it off, Lyssa was also frustrated.  

Just as I was getting comfortable with Lyssa, Shawn and Tatton came over.  Now I don’t mind Shawn but Tatton is a dickhead when it comes to acting sensible.  Lyssa is in the room and he’s farting and being a dickhead, yelling at the top of his lungs, all at night.  They came over literally to use my recording facilities on my computer.  

Lyssa Becomes Uncomfortable

While Shawn and Tatton were over I tried my best to make Lyssa comfortable.  Lyssa was sitting in the corner working on her math for her HSC.  She only done that because she was uncomfortable.  Even though I was right next to her I didn’t feel right.  

Lyssa told me that her head was hurting because she was thinking too hard upon math.  Every time I would go to kiss Lyssa she would, but would stop soon after.  So I felt worse like I’d done something wrong enough for her to shut me out.  

After 9pm I politely asked them to leave.  They did.  

Getting Alone Time With Lyssa

That gave Lyssa and me a chance to talk.

Lyssa likes it when I call her sweetheart or sweetie.  It makes her feel special.  

Lyssa told me jokingly that if her HSC isn’t good then she’d become a stripper.  Lyssa actually had a conversation with all her friends about that, and they also want to.  

Getting tired soon, I went to sleep, Lyssa must have been tired too.

We woke up at midnight.

Penelope Forgets To Pick Lyssa Up

Penelope was supposed to pick her up after coming from Ali’s at 10pm at the latest.  After some worrying, I called Ali’s house.  After the second time called, they decided to pick up.  

Ali told me that Penelope had left at 11pm.  I was now getting angry.  Penelope must have come to my house to pick up Lyssa but she didn’t make an effort in getting her.  

When Penelope drops off Lyssa at my house and says she’ll pick her up at a certain time she should do it.

Lyssa Self-Conscious About Sleeping Over

That night Lyssa and I got real frustrated at each other.  Not wanting her to call her mum I let her try once.  Things got so bad she started to cry to her mum, pleading.  Lyssa wanted to call again but I wouldn’t let her call her mum.  Anyone but her mum I told her.  

She got real angry, as did I, because she was persistent about not staying at my house.  She was afraid that when she woke up in the morning she’d have no makeup and would have to go through Campbelltown to go home.  

After an hour of near argument we lay under the covers and went to sleep.  Last night I had a real good sleep for some reason.

Getting Resentful Of Penelope

Penelope really pissed me off last night.  It’s not the first time she’s done something like this.  Last time she picked Lyssa up at midnight.  This time she didn’t even pick her up.  Penelope doesn’t even know what Ali had done behind her back.  She thinks it’s all roses.   

I get frustrated when Lyssa tells me “Ali and Penelope have deep and meaningful conversation when they are together and they talk for hours.  He tells her everything.”  

That pisses me off to know that Ali has cheated behind her back.  He doesn’t mean most of what he says to her, and Lyssa gets jealous over nothing.  

I start to think, “Wait a minute, we have deep and meaningful conversation.  I treat you like a queen.  I send you flowers and gifts and poems.”  

Penelope & Ali Brag Too Much

Ali gave Penelope a Gold Necklace and Charm – that by the way he budgeted to the max for.  When Ali bought the set of Jewelry I was with him.  It cost him nearly nothing.  When Ali told Lyssa that he doesn’t care about the price he pays for jewelry for Penelope, I was there.  Penelope is just one to showcase what she gets more and story tell about her boyfriend more than Lyssa.  

Lyssa doesn’t go around telling everyone this and that.  Like me, she keeps these things to herself.  So it pisses me off that she might be thinking that Penelope has got it better from Ali than Lyssa has off me.  

I can just hear Lyssa’s mind thinking, “Why don’t you send me jewelry and why don’t you have deep and meaningfuls with me?”  

I’m wondering what Ali is going to give Penelope or do for their 4 months anniversary together.

Bus With Lyssa Into Town

Within the early hours of today upon waking up, I lay next to Lyssa for another 20 minutes.  Not eating, I had a shower and pondered what would happen with Lyssa now.  

As we left the house, Lyssa and I just caught the bus.  She wasn’t happy about catching public transport “looking like shit” as she put it and having all the school kids gawk at her.  Sadly that happened on the way to Campbelltown in the bus.

Catching the bus to the station we were about to get off, when Lyssa asked if the bus traveled to Leumeah.  

“Yes,” replied the driver.

As I gave her money for the way there, I gave her a kiss and was on my way.  

The Girl On The Bus To Work

On the way to work at Martinson Engineering, all the seats on the bus to Narellan were full, so I sat next to the girl that is quiet and I nearly always avoid sitting next to, except for once.  She is Egyptian or some nationality amongst that, and works along the line of Camden.  

Always seeing her on the bus, she never misses a day and she has an attraction for me.  I realize that but she is too shy, which is good for me as I’m with Lyssa.

Feeling Guilty From Neglecting Jewell

Changing the topic once again, not having called Jewell since the holidays, I’m beginning to feel guilt.  Soon I will call her and have a talk to her once again.  You might even say “A Deep and Meaningful Conversation.”

Hopefully, Lyssa feels that we do converse in that fashion.  When I call her on the phone there might be times where I’m just out of it, but most of the time it is Deep And Meaningful, where I just get her sighing, anticipating my next sentence.

What I’m thinking is that Lyssa is starting to dwell upon the fact that I haven’t told her I love her, but neither has she.

Martinson Engineering Work – Thursday

I am now at work in Narellan for Martinson Engineering.  The time was 8:48am when I started to write this diary at work today.

Today Shawn and I are going on the Internet where we can view Limousines for Lyssa and I for her year 12 formal.  There in the library we can also plan the next thing to purchase through Credit Card this weekend.

I have to dwell upon the fact that Lyssa and I are visiting some lingerie shops this weekend on Saturday.  Traveling to Newtown, all my fantasies will come alive when I view all the lingerie that Lyssa can wear on her formal night.   Ugh, I can’t wait.

Just calling Lyssa at home, she was just asleep and getting ready to go to Math tutoring.  

Now it’s time to leave my Diary.  All I can say is, I’m sorry sweetie.