Diary Of A Mad Chaos
I could go out and get a newspaper but, I couldn’t be bothered to.
After tonight I feel drained mentally and just want to relax, have a shower and do some reading and then go to bed.
Group Hanging Out
Tonight we went out as usual and as usual the group was fucked. Keith ended up going soon after we got there and all the girls except for Tarina got drunk.
I sat and had a deep conversation with Tarina and it meant a lot to me because we were talking about our feelings towards each other. We were talking about how I liked her and how she deceived (or I thought she deceived me) me. We talked for a while and we sorted our problems out and then that was that, we were friends.
Preparing To Leave The Group
I said to Imad tonight that this group is getting predictable and getting fucked up.
I never put my foot in against the group before, but tonight was getting silly so I decided to give it my best actions.
I told Imad that I was going to leave this group of no-goers behind, sort out the good ones from the bad ones and then leave the rest behind and just move on. That’s what I was doing tonight. I was just tying up the loose ends before I fuck off.
Harley Flirts With Me
Harley was trying to get onto me in Aubree’s car before we left. She was sober and had her hand around me and wanted to do something but at the start of the night I was very angry at them getting pissed again, so I didn’t talk to any of them. Harley was all over me in the car but I didn’t play her game.
Aubree And Rory Kiss
Also on the list was Aubree who got onto Rory again tonight. It’s her fault and Rory’s fault also for taking advantage of a person when she is in a drunken mood. That’s what Percival and Palmer also did with their squeezes.
Harley disappeared for the night with Palmer and they were gone in Aubree’s car, because Aubree was getting drunk and she let Palmer drive the car.
Janice And Percival Kiss
Janice got onto Percival again and she was my first victim.
Janice was drunk and even though she tells everyone that she doesn’t like Percival she got onto him away from everyone and she even asked him if he was going to get onto her.
Console A Crying Janice
Now she is fucked up because when she wanted a lift from Ned to go home, she was crying in the car. I decided to have a word to her and I was chopping her in the car but, when she was at her door I called her back and asked her what she was doing with her life. She was crying so I gave her a hug and sent her off.
I have lost my respect for her now; she is without help from me from now on. She is one of the bad ones in the group even though she can be nice when sober.
Next on the list was Aubree. When we came back I singled her off. At first with her and Celeste I asked why Janice was crying and they didn’t know. I then spaced Celeste away and me and Aubree were talking.
I asked her why she gets drunk and why she gets onto Rory, and she was answering back. I told her I had too much respect for her to lose her friendship.
Chicks dig the shit I say so I kept going.
I made her cry by snapping some sense into her head and saying to her I feel like slapping her to get some sense into her.
“Slap me then, go on,” she told me.
I told her that I don’t hit women and even If I did slap her it wouldn’t make a difference because she’d just go back to her old way.
She then started to cry and I felt sorry for her and gave her a hug and held her tight.
I then found out that her parents were moving to Queensland if her dad got a job there, and she was given the alternative to stay with her sister and her sister’s fiancé or to go with them.
She felt that all her friends and family were down here and that she had to stay, but she would get in the way of her sister and her sister’s fiancé. But, if she went up to Queensland she would lose all her friends down here.
I started feeling for her then and I held her again in my arms. It felt good to have control and be the mediator and a psychologist at the same time.
We talked for a while longer and then we went back to the crowd and she sat down sobbing.
Rory went over to see what was happening, while Celeste came over to me. I told her to see Aubree. She went and took Aubree and she started to cry as she took her away. I felt sorry for her until Rory and Percival went over to her.
Percival Confronts Me
The only reason Percival went over to her was to see about Janice. At one stage she was asking him to let her pass him and he wouldn’t. She finally got around him and I gave him a stare he would not forget. I was going to get up then and there and confront him but I played it cool.
He then looked at me and said, “Don’t worry Tony, she’s alright now.”
Percival then said to me, “Have I done something to you to make you hate me?”
I said “You’re doing it now,” and gave him another stare.
He then said “Do you want to hit me do you?”
I said, “Do you want to make something of it.”
He said “no” the coward.
Aubree Stops The Fight
Then Aubree came over and crouched in front of me and tried to calm me down. I looked at Celeste and she was looking at me and nodding her head as to say “No, don’t do it Tony,” so I went for a walk in the bushes.
Shawn and Ned meanwhile came back. I went and talked to them for a while and then it was almost time to go.
Ralf came out tonight and he got a lift home in Astor’s car. I went home with Ned and Shawn and we were the men of the night.
I just had some more spaghetti and 6 egg whites and 2 sandwiches with salami. That was my nighttime snack and it will build some muscle come tomorrow.
My chest aches still and my back is starting to show. My biceps will ache tomorrow for sure and after my shower I am going to go to sleep.
Choosing Between Madlyn Or Aubree
Tomorrow I am waiting for that call from Madlyn. Then I am going to ring up Aubree and see what she is doing and ask her over my house to help me out. I am then going to see if she wants to help me get my video from Dina’s house.
If she wants to, we are going to rent out a video and watch it at my house. I will use that time to tell my true feelings for her. I might not do that though depending on the relationship that me and Madlyn will have on the phone tomorrow.
If Madlyn takes this relationship a step further then I will go with Madlyn but if she doesn’t want to take it anywhere then I am going with Aubree.
I would prefer Aubree because I have liked her for a long time but I would also prefer Madlyn because something new in my life is what I need.
Removing The Bad Eggs
Within a week I will have left this team of misfits. The only ones I am going to keep in contact with is Aubree, Imad (my boy), Ned, Shawn, Brodie, Celeste and Ralf. I can’t really see anyone else worth staying friends with.
There are a lot of people in the group that are good friends like Keith but they just have a trait I don’t like. For instance dogging is Keith’s trait I don’t like. Dogging me and Imad and his friends for his sake. Na-ah I say good day.
3 pages of writing and I am now about to sign off today.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until 2018, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.