Today, as another new day of the month and another chapter to my almost never-ending story, I have started anew; new thoughts, new possessions and new power. My thoughts on life in perspective and quarrels of my private life have changed views. Buying new possessions today also places me into new power for the future, to bring the best in me.
Visit Lyssa At Her House
Starting with yesterday after my last entry, I had a shower. Then I caught the bus to Campbelltown station on such another hot day. This year has been fairly hot up until now. I found myself in Campbelltown sweating.
Taking my money out of the bank I began my way to Lyssa’s house. Halfway up the street to her house Lyssa called me on my mobile phone. She was already home. Lyssa and I talked for a moment as we had forgotten the vivid memories of our last scathing fight to our relationship. Asking Lyssa to make me something to eat I told her that I had bought her a surprise from the shops, something she hasn’t had for a while. Rice Bubbles in my hand, I walked to Lyssa’s house and gave her the surprise, as I ate some hot chicken rolls.
Bump Into Slade On The Bus
Lyssa and I once again got acquainted with each other. Then after some consideration we decided to both sleep at my house. Lyssa packed some possessions. Then we started walking to Campbelltown. At the bus stop we sat next to Slade. I was reluctant to talk to him at first, but eventuated in having a conversation with him, his girlfriend by his side and mine with me.
Jumping on the bus, we continued our conversation. Then his girlfriend jumped off and we continued our conversation. What I feel is that they will continue their life together. They probably always knew it. I guess Lyssa and I never always thought we weren’t meant for each other.
I think I pushed the fact that our relationship had a used by date, which wasn’t written yet.
Lyssa and I jumped off at our stop. Then we walked up to my house and unpacked our belongings.
Phone Interview With Real Estate Agents
Yesterday I was called by a prospective employer once again. This time it was a big real estate that pulls big money. They had received my résumé and were arranging information via a phone call. My phone interview was exceptional. The employer told me that the best five applicants would receive a call in a couple of days and receive an interview.
Not Repeating The Same Mistake
As Lyssa and I were in my house we lay back to watch television and just relax. Later that night we realized we didn’t want to make the same mistake as the day before so we accompanied each other to the shower. That’s where it started. Lyssa had a very energetic time last night. When we finished we tired out and went to sleep.
Lyssa slept first. I stayed awake, listened to her talk in her sleep and tried to make sense of her murmuring words. An hour later I finally went to sleep. I crashed.
Accompany Lyssa To Work
Very early this morning Lyssa and I woke up, then continuously slept again. An hour and a half later we started to get ready, late for College. Catching the bus to Campbelltown we waited for our train to Granville. Sitting on a two-seater we chatted to Granville, as my eyes wondered to and fro.
Reaching Parramatta I walked Lyssa to work, gave her a kiss and then walked my way to Westfield Shopping to look for clothes to buy. Only having an hour to walk around (because Lyssa was late), I viewed only the second and third floor quickly. Browsing I also took in the scenery and noticed that people in Parramatta were as attractive as people in Sydney.
Retail Shopping In Westfields Parramatta
Meeting Lyssa for her first lunch we began our now short walk to the shopping center. Buying Lyssa a small lunch, we walked around looking for a shop we had noticed a week or two ago with a shirt that I admired. Tracking down the floor it was on, I had to escort Lyssa back to College. It was getting late.
With Lyssa back at College on her typing course, I began my journey once more. This time I found the shop where my shirt was. After trying it on I purchased it.
With my hat on and my hair all scrunched up, I looked for a hair stylist. There was a suit I wanted to try and needed my hair in a ponytail for a good judgment.
Finding a hairdresser, I was charged $3 for having my hair tied back with mousse.
Looking at some more shops I bought a CD. Titled ‘Evolution’ it’s ‘Boyz II Men’s’ new CD, which I had to have after listening to it.
A Quick Lunch With Lyssa
Time it was again to pick Lyssa up for lunch. We decided to visit McDonald’s. Buying two meals that cost me an arm, we sat down, as Lyssa and I were really hungry. After our meal we didn’t have much time to view anything, so I told Lyssa about a suit I wanted her to help me pick. I already had an idea.
Walking Lyssa back to work I once again visited the shopping center. This time I looked at novelty stores and took a seated view of all the passing shoppers.
Buying A New Suit
The day was over and I picked up Lyssa, as we once again walked to Westfield shopping. Walking Lyssa to the shop where I wanted to try my suit on, I walked her around and showed her the design I was interested in. Lyssa seemed to be interested with it, as I contacted someone to assist.
Getting measured, Lyssa picked an easily noticeable blue shirt to wear with this dark but light blue suit. The suit was not able to be worn with a tie, which I loved, as it was a new trend. Instead, you tuck the collar of the shirt out of the top of the suit and it looks tremendously better.
Putting my suit on with a belt and my hair back in a ponytail, I engaged the crowd. I actually liked and admired the suit I had on. The suit showed power within me. As I had it tailored to my body I began to grow with the design. Lyssa fell in love with the look. She told me I looked hot in it, which is a good sign.
I decided to put the suit on lay-by with the shirt and a belt, adding up to over $400. With four weeks to pay off the lay-by, Lyssa is helping me out every week with some money. With the suit to pay off I didn’t pay my phone, which I received a new bill today. It all adds up to over $200. Along with my Credit Card bill, I have to balance the payments of all these debits.
Taking one last look at the suit, Lyssa and I visited Grace Brothers so Lyssa could check out some clothes for her. She picked up a pair of jeans that I particularly admired. The jeans were contorting to the body’s proportions, the jeans that faded in color and had buttons lining the front instead of a zip. Lyssa looked superb in them. With a good singlet she would look hot.
Lyssa and I are both finding fashion this year. That’s a good thing. With this suit I will definitely have courage to find another job to be proud of.
Also visiting Hound Dog, Lyssa tried on a shirt, as I helplessly looked around at all the beauty walking by.
Lyssa Rejects My Advances
Catching the train back home, Lyssa and I found it hard to find a seat and sat cramped next to a lady. After a while we found our own seats and traveled together all the way to Leumeah.
Just before reaching home I was mucking around with Lyssa (as I usually do). Lyssa decided to get nasty with me and tell me to get lost. Embarrassed, I took offence because she said it loud enough for the people in front and behind us to hear. From there it was silent until we reached Leumeah. Offering to give Lyssa money for a bus, she insisted on walking. That made me angry, but I allowed it.
Reaching Campbelltown I sat down to wait for my bus and called Imad while he was half asleep. Badgering him for the ‘Boyz II Men’ CD, I jumped onto the bus and arrived home.
Spill Gossip To Ali
Lyssa called me after I had talked to Ali on the phone. We didn’t discuss any part of the argument on the train. Lyssa jumped off the phone because Ali was almost at my house.
Listening to my new CD, Ali came in. We greeted in our usual way. Tonight I shared with Ali somewhat. Not enough for him to spill to Penelope but I told him that Lyssa and I weren’t thinking of marriage in the way him and Penelope were. Lyssa and I didn’t think we would be getting married. I think only part of that reason is that I still have feelings for another.
Ali then told me how after Penelope has finished her courses she will try to start a business. In day her offices will be a bar, but at night it will be a hip nightclub. Ali and I talked for an hour and then finished off with playing computer games.
An Emotional Call With Lyssa
Straight after, I called Lyssa and taped Melrose Place for her. On Beverly Hills 90210 I noted a similar scenario that Lyssa and I were having. In the scene Brandon (I can’t remember anyone else’s role name) was talking to his girlfriend Brenda (same as before). She was angry because tomorrow was mother’s day and her mother was dead, so ever since she died she was so sad on that day. Brandon tried to sympathize and then offered to take her on a long drive for mother’s day, a good gesture. Brenda was upset that he could think of taking her for a drive on the day her mother died.
Brandon replied with words like, “I’m trying to love you here, but instead of leaning on me, you push me away, and I’m really trying to help here, but you just push away my help.”
While Lyssa and I talked to each other tonight I informed her that’s kind of how I felt with her sometimes. When I would try to help, instead of gratitude and appreciation I would get pushed away and yelled at that I don’t care enough. For ten minutes Lyssa wouldn’t talk to me about a problem I didn’t think would escalate.
Lyssa started to cry and I started to feel sad and remorseful. Lyssa and I then started deeply talking about our break up and what the consequences would be. I told her how I feared our break up because I never want to hurt Lyssa. That would be hurting her and I think about it often, not wanting to hurt Lyssa. I’ve thought ways around it like what I do now, asking Lyssa what sort of guys she likes so I can make it easier for her to love again after me. We both realize it will probably be me that will break it off and I don’t want to be at fault and to blame if I find someone first, which I also probably will. The difference between Lyssa and I is that I look for a relationship, where Lyssa just waits for one to happen.
Another thing I realized is that once Lyssa and I are broken up and I find another girlfriend, Lyssa will be mean to her like Phoenix was mean to Lyssa. Lyssa wants to be my friend after we are over, but I think if she tries to get at me like that then our friendship will slowly start to deteriorate, and I want to know Lyssa for the rest of our lives.
Lyssa and I will always have many things that many others will never have, not even my next love. We talked about Lyssa’s previous boyfriend and linked everything together into one combined story.
Lyssa and I talked until 11pm. This is where I am now. I’ve no plans for tonight except to play the computer for a little, think of my future, and then sleep. Tomorrow I will probably be waking up to visit Lyssa in the City.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
