Diary Of A Mad Chaos
Capping off from yesterday, I left to ring Phoenix. She was going to have something to eat, so I told her to ring me back soon. She said she would call back, but it turned out she wasn’t allowed to use the phone, so she couldn’t call back.
I waited until 6:30 pm.
Kathryn Calls To Apologize
Something funny happened to me that made me angry and made me think about myself and my virtues. The phone rang at 6:00 pm. Nina was on the other end saying, “I have someone that wants to talk to you.” She handed the phone over to Kathryn.
Her conversation to me was, “I’m sorry for being a bitch to you last time.” Then she handed the phone over to Nina.
Nina was saying “Well, I have to go now.” She was expecting for me to ask Kathryn back on the phone, but I didn’t.
That little thing spun me out because I never thought she’d ring back, and now that has completely fucked me up. Now Kathryn probably wants to see me again, but the thing is that I like Phoenix. If I get onto Kathryn, then I couldn’t hold a relationship with Phoenix because I don’t like lying.
If I stay with Phoenix and don’t do anything about Kathryn then I’d never know what could have been with Kathryn in the last days of our lives together.
I know in my heart that I want to, but in my mind I’m going to stay with Phoenix, even though I consider us just seeing each other. All I want from Kathryn is just a kiss before she goes away practically forever, because she is moving to Melbourne. Nothing is tying her back here.
Pizza Hut Runs With Rory
Yesterday I wanted to tell Phoenix that we should consider the 1st of January to be the start of us seeing each other but I didn’t get to talk to her.
After the telephone call, I walked angrily to Campbelltown to see Rory. I felt like punching the fuck out of someone (like Jeremy). I drove with Rory for a while and told him to send the CD carousel today, but he still isn’t here.
Drive To Richmond
Keith came down with Hudson and Tamsen. We left to do something.
Driving past Tatton’s house we picked him up and then picked up Ralf and drove to my house.
Last night we went to Richmond at this mountain road where the road is supposed to pull you up the hill instead of down the hill with the car in neutral. We didn’t know where it was, so we tried out a lot of streets. By luck we found it. The shit was pretty much real but wasn’t worth the one-hour drive there and back.